All You Need is Luuurve
by Tarts Wardrobe
Summary: Set after SITNOP, Masimo is in the full humpty dumpty with Georgia, because she has just done the twist with Dave the Laugh. Will she resolve things with the Luuurve God, or will she finally realize Dave is more than a mate? Chapter 15 is up.
1. A Note From Georgia

**Disclaimer: I obv. do not own Georgia, or the idea of Georgia, or any of her mad mates and bonkers family. I do however, own this plotty, which I hope you Lurve vair much.**

A Note From Georgia

Dear chums, mates, pals, friends, amigos, etc,

Here I am, once again, bearing my soul just for you. I am so vair tired from my sheer brilliantosity, that I would just like to move on and go make myself some milky pops and hit le sack.

But, I cannot do that, because ... I bring you, ALL YOU NEED IS LURVE! Because, in reality, Lurve is really all you need (Er, well food, water, shelter are necessary, as well, but oh! Can we just get on with it?!)

You see, LURVE IS ALL YOU NEED, is a song sang by those blokes, that Vati likes, y'know, "Lucy in the sky with PANTS" Those guys. Uhm, the Beatles, I think. Yes, yes, that's right, the Beatles. So lettus moveth on and grooveth!!

Lots of wet snogs (In a non-Lezzie way, of course!)

Lurve Georgia xxx


	2. Lucky Number 10

**Disclaimer:** Of course, I don't own any of these groovtastic charscters, But own this plot. So Enjoy mon pallies, ENJOY!**

* * *

**

**Sunday September 16th**

**10:14 am**

Woke up feeling normal, aside from the fact that Libby's new "fwend" was practically up my bumoley. Than, I remembered my Italian boyfriend is in the full humpty-dumpty with me. I wonder if he will break up with me??

**Five Seconds Later**

Maybe we are ALREADY broken up?! But he never actually said, "Georgia, I am leaving you, as you are a red-bottomed minx. So, ciao, forever."

**10:15 am**

I don't fink Masimo even knows what a red-bottomed minx is? Well, that's Italians for you.

Perhaps I should ring him? To see what the situation is? Yes, yes, I will do just that.

**10:17 am**

Hmmmm what to wear? Jeans or skirt? Jeans, I think, as this is a casual event.

**10:28 am**

Skirt on, and makeup applied, I am right by the phone. I must gird my loins, and dial.

**Three Seconds Later**

Dial, Dial… Ring, ring, ring… Hmm. No answer. Perhaps he has gone out. I shall try again later.

**12:40 pm**

Phoned Jas.

"Jas?"  
"What?"

I tried not to get too annoyed at the fact she is an annoying fringe flicker.

"I've tried calling Masimo, but there is no answer. Do you think we are through?"

There was some sort of sucking sound coming from her end. I bet she was sucking on her fringe. Erlack!

"Jas?!"

"Yes?"

"Do you think we are through?"

"No, we are still mates."

WHAT?! I said "What?! I mean Masimo and me! Do you think he will break up with me?"

"Possibly, I mean, you are quite mad. What was it you said last night? 'Stop in the name of pants'? What was that all about?"

"Well it stopped any fisticuffs at dawn fandango, so that is unimportant. What is important, is that I am coming over, right now."

"No you are not."

"Yes, Jas. I am"

**At Jas's**

**1:15 pm**

I am sitting outside on Jas's front porch. She is refusing to let me in. She is too busy rearranging her owls and her mollusc collection.

I know, I will toss rocks up at her window.

**Jas's Room**

**1:20 pm**

One of the rocks I tossed went right through the window. Jas got all huffy, and worried about what her parents would think. I have no idea what she's scared of. Her Vati hardly ever talks, and her Mutti just leaves her cash for spendies. Great parenting.

I got some sellotape and covered the hole. You can hardly notice it. Unless of course you look at the window, as it's quite a large hole.

**4:00 pm**

WHAT A DAY!! Jas and I went to boots. I had to buy her a new lippy (Peaches and cream flavoured) to make up for the hole in the window incident. While we were looking at the nail polishes, Dave popped up behind us, and put his arms around our shoulders.

He said, "Bonjour Sensation Seekers!"

Jas got quite the start, and dropped a bottle of nail polish. She had to pay for it, as it cracked and leaked all over the floor. Oh, happy times!

I noticed Dave had an item basket behind him. He seemed to be hiding it, because when I tried to give it a looksy, he shifted it more out of view.

I said to him, "Buying more moisturizer?"

He looked a bit nervy, "Uhm, yes. That's it."

Oh, he was deffo lying, because Jas came back from the cashier and practically scream, "DAVE, IS THAT A BOX CONDOMS IN YOUR BASKET?"

Three things happened after Jas's outburst.

Dave turned a bit red.

Jas covered her mouth.

I dropped everything I was holding (The lippy's, my purse, nail polish…)

I just kind of looked at Dave, with my mouth opened (In a hopefully attractive way) and he said, "Yes, well goodbye Sexk- Georgia, bye Jas. Keep on groovin'!" and he went off into another aisle.

"Wow" Jas said.

"He… number 10… Emma?!" I was utterly speechless.

Jas patted my back, "On the bright side of the porch, he is using protection,"

"Jas?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

**In bed  
11:45 pm**

I can't believe it! I can't bloody believe it! Dave! The hornmeister, and Emma… doing THINGS! What have I done to receive such horrible punishments?! On the brighter side of the cantaloupe, Katie Steadman is having a party. Rosie phoned to give me the details.

She said "The theme is Disney Prince and Princess with just a touch of black."

"So, what, like Cinderella with extreme black eyeliner?"

"Exactamondo, mon pallie!"

"Sounds groovtastic. When is it?"

The party is this upcoming Friday!! I must start cloning and tensing!!

**Three Seconds Later**

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH! I mean cleansing and toning!

**11:47 pm**

Even though, I'm not even sure I have a boyfriend anymore.

**Ten Seconds Later**

And Dave the Laugh is off full monty-ing with Emma. And I'm all alone.

**11:50 pm**

Angus tried to get on the bed. I had to untuck myself and give him a lift. Poor cat, his tail is still all bandaged up. Maybe I will stay home and give Angus some Cat-Physiotherapy, rather than go to Katie's party. It's not like any bloke will- zzzz……

* * *

**Oooh-er! Short, I know, terribly sorry. It'll get better. Please review if you enjoyed it :D xxx Emily**


	3. DejaVu, Times Three

**Disclaimer: Blahahhhhhahahha. I own the plot, thats about it :)

* * *

**

Monday, September 17**th**

**7:45 am**

Literally up at the crack of dawn. I suppose I can lie in bed for a few more minutes…

**8:00 am**

Alrighty, quick sticks! I must cleanse and tone, achieve maximum bouncability on the hair front, and sexy natural makeup, just in case Masimo is waiting at the gates.

**8:15 am**

Buggeration! I have stabbed myself in the eye with my mascara!! Ow, ow, bloody ow! I hope Masimo likes the wet, red eye look in a girl.

**8:30 am**

Walking up the hill, with Jas. No sign of Masimo, however, Dave is trailing behind us, with some of the lads. We stopped, so they could catch up.

"Hi, Chicks" Dave said.

"Hello, Dave." I couldn't bear looking at him properly. Possibly because last night he could've very well been, you know, fooling around with Emma, if his purchase at Boots is anything to go by.

I said, while looking at my shoes, "Yes, well, we'll be late if we don't skedaddle. Good-day, boys."

I grabbed Jas's arm and tugged her away.

"You're acting awfully peculiar, Gee. Normally, you tart about, and practically thrust your nunga-nunga's at Dave."

I huffed, "Yes, well that was BEFORE I knew what number he and Miss Tarty Knickers had gotten up to on the Snogging Scale!"

In all the dramaosity of my so-called-life, I had forgotten to unroll my skirt, so Hawkeye got out her tape measure and tutted like the little engine that could (Could tut, that is).

"Georgia Nicolson, it is quite plain to see, that your skirt is nearly eight inches above the knee. I am absolutely disgusted with you. You are setting a terrible example to the younger girls…" Blah blah blah!

The short of the short of it, is that I have to write "I will become a better role-model towards younger students, and wear my uniform properly" six million times. Joy abound. Not.

**Assembly**

Sitting with Rosie. She asked what Masimo and I were going to Katie's party as.

I whispered, "I am not even sure if Masimo is still my boyfriend. I haven't spoken with him since the gig. What are you and Sven going as?"

At this point Hawkeye gave me a look. And when she gives you that look, you shut up. You shut up, or possibly die.

**Five Minutes Later**

Rosie whispered, "We are going as Cogsworth and Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast."

WHATTTT?! They are the maddest people I know. And I know A LOT of mad people.

**French**

Sent Rosie a note regarding her choice of party costume.

_Ro-Ro,  
I thought the party was PRINCE and PRINCESSES?  
Not Clocks and Candlesticks?  
You are breaking proper-party etiquette, mon pal.  
xxx Gee_

**Two Minutes Later**

_Gee,  
When Sven has an idea, you DON'T object.  
I am being Cogsworth._

_xo R _

**German**

We showed Herr Kamyer our German Snogging Scale. He turned quite sensationally red. Even his ankles. He than said, "Ah, yes, but vun vould not use this words, and, ja, er…" He than went over to answer Melanie's question. As if it were more important that Knutschen.

**Afternoon Break**

Ellen dithered away for all of England, when she told us about Saturday night's shenanigans vis-à-vis her and Declan.

"Well, I mean, we snogged for a long time. I mean, I think we did. I wasn't wearing my, you know, my watch. I didn't, uhm, wear it because, well, it, it, didn't really look ace, you know? It didn't look, that, erm, good with my outfit. Uhm, do you know what I, uhm wore? It was that, er, that skirt with the-"

I cut in, "COME ON, ELLEN! While we are young, please!"

The short of the short of it, is that they are now Proper and official Boyfriend and Girlfriend, and he has given her a lovebite on the stomach. ON THE STOMACH, I ask you??

**4:20 pm**

In the loo outside of school. The gang is keeping guard. So far, no sign of Masimo.

**Home**

**5:45 pm**

As soon as I emerged from the loo, I saw Robbie. He was sitting on his scooter, waiting for Lindsay, no doubt. Perhaps Lindsay will come running outside of the school in nothing but a thong, and her false-nunga's, carrying a cake for Robbie, and they will ride off into the setting sun together. Hopefully, we will never be seeing Lindsay again.

But, he didn't come to see Lindsay, because he got off the scooter and came up to me, and said, "Hi, Gee. I came here to see you."  
He really is vair groovy. I told the Gang I'd catch up, and I walked off with Robbie.

He led me to a bench and we sat down.

"So, how're things?" I asked, except I only said the "So," bit, because HE WAS SNOGGING ME! ROBBIE, THE SEX GOD! ROBBIE, WHO I DUMPED, WAS KISSING ME! AND MY LEGS HAD GONE JELLOID.

He retreated, and just looked at me. And I looked back, with my mouth hanging open, like some sort of fish.

"Gee, I can't stop thinking about you. I am trying so hard to get over you, but I just can't. I've been wanting to snog you, since you started going out with Mas. I miss you, Gee. I miss how mad you are, and I miss your orange legs, and I just miss us. Us being together. And, I just wanted you to know that." He kissed me lightly on the mouth, and got up, and walked back to his scooter and drove off.

Blimey.

I ran and caught up with the Ace Gang, to tell them what had just happened. I had just about reached them, when Masimo entered, stage left.

He got off his scooter, and walked towards me (Deja-vu!), and snogged me, within an inch of his life. After about 10 minutes of being in Snog Central, he said, "Ciao, Georgia. I am, how you say, vair, vair sorry, about the fighting of Saturday evening. I had gotten, envious. But, I know Dave is just your mate, and that you are for me. Will you please, accept my sorry?"

I nodded like a nodding stooge, and we snogged some more. He than said he had to go to rehearsal, but he will see me later. He kissed me on the mouth, and left.

Oh, wow.

The Ace Gang were quite a bit ahead of me, by now, so I had to run, quite fast. I had, once again almost reached them, when Dave stepped in, front and center.

"Easy there, girls." He said to my nunga's. He looked up at me, and said, "Can we talk?". I nodded, but there better not be ANY snogging.

He led me to the bench where Robbie and I had sat, just before. He kind of stared at me for a bit, than kissed me really, really lightly on the mouth. When he pulled back, he just sort of looked at me. And I thought, "Oh, Hell! I already snogged two boys today! Why not make it lucky number three?!" And I lunged at him, sort of, and we did 4, 5, AND 6! We kept going for a few minutes, until he pushed me away.

"I can't do this!" He said.

I looked at him, he looked angry.

"Why did you have to do that, Georgia?"

I said, "Dave, I think you will find that you didn't exactly stop. In fact, you kept going." I grabbed his hand, but he pulled it away.

He stood up, and kicked a water bottle towards the woods. "Dammit, Georgia! I have a girlfriend!"

I stayed on the bench, and watched him walking away. And I began to cry. I wasn't crying because he had gotten mad. Well, maybe it had a bit to do with that, but I was mostly crying because I had snogged three boys, in less than twenty minutes.

**10 Seconds Later**

And snogging Dave felt the most right.

* * *

**Heehee, I've been getting emails, left and right, regarding this fic! So thanks, guys! Hopefully you enjoy this chappie!! Remember to review :D**


	4. Poked in the Eye by Nungas

**Disclaimer: Once again, no characters belong to me. Altough, I do wish Dave was mine... Anyways, the plot is infact mine...**

**Tuesday, September 18th**

**7:00 am**

I've woken up vair early, feeling vair crummy, and I didn't remember why. Than I remembered that I am an appalling tart and should be put behind bars at the Tarts Jail.

**7:30 am**

Face washed, natural makeup applied and I'm ready to go.

**Two Seconds Later**

Hmm, what to do for the next hour? I suppose I could do some yoga. I haven't done it in awhile.

**7:40 am**

Now I know why I never do yoga. It is dumb, and boring. And, how can I possibly be peaceful when Libby is chucking her "fwends" at me. The answer: I can't possibly be peaceful, that's how.

**7:42 am**

The doorbell rang. I'll make Mum get it.

**Five Seconds Later**

OH DEAR GOTT IN HIMMEL!! IT'S ROBBIE!!

I can hear Mutti talking to him. She is probably in her most horrendously revealing nightie, with NO bra on, poking Robbie in the eyes with her giganticus nungas.

"Gee, someone is here for you!" She shouted.

After applying about sixty-five coats of lippy, I walked down stairs. Shockingly, Mutti was dressed quite normalish, and Libby was sitting Robbie's knee.

"Err, Hi, Robbie." I said.

"Hi, Gee. I thought I'd give you a ride to school? If that's alright…" Oh giddygodstrousersnake! His eyes are so blue and gorgeyyyyy!

"Sure, that'll be quite fine. Thank you." Why was I talking like the queen??

I grabbed my knapsack, and we went outside. It was quite a nice autumn day. The sky was blue, and it was just vair lovely.

"So, how're you?" He asked, as he handed me a helmet.

"Oh, I'm fine, fanks. How are you?"  
He smiled, "I'm good, I'm good." He looked at his watch, "It's quite early. D'you maybe want to the park for a bit?"

"Erm…"

He laughed, "I'll try to keep my hands to myself."

I agreed, and we got onto his scooter, and he drove off.

**RE**

When we got to the park, it was only us, and a few olds walking about, for a morning stroll. We sat down on the swings, well, actually I sat down, and Robbie went behind me and pushed me.

It was quite fun, swinging before going off to school.

I asked him about Lindsay, I said, "Are you dating that wet weed Lindsay again?"

He laughed, a lot! "She keeps coming around me. I reckon she thinks we're dating. But, I like someone else."

I could feel my cheeks going red. If the snogging yesterday was anything to go by, he meant me.

"Oh, I see." He pushed me some more, and I swung some more.

After about five minutes of silent pushing/swinging, he grabbed the swing, and kind of held me towards him, and kissed me right on the mouth! JELLOID KNICKERS EXTRAORDINAIRE!

I could tell some of the olds were watching us, as I felt eyes digging into the back of my skull. Well, look on old folks! Look on!

We separated for some breathing, as I went back in for some more, Robbie gently pushed me away. I looked at him, but he was looking behind me. I turned around.

There weren't any old people in sight.

Just Masimo.

**German**

Herr Kamyer has given us a free period to "study verbs". Yeah right, old German one.

When I saw Masimo, he looked vair, vair, VAIR angry. If he actually did have a handbag, I thought he would come over and beat Robbie with it.

"Listen, Masimo," Said Robbie, "It was all me, I snogged her."

Masimo shook his head, "Georgia, we need to do talking, when you are home from school." He looked at Robbie, "And Robbie, we are no longer mates."

I nodded, and so did Robbie. Sacre bloody bleu!!

He dropped me off at school, as I was about to get off the scooter, he took my hands.

"Look, Gee. I am, really, really sorry. This is all my fault. I'll try to talk to Masimo, okay?"

I told him not to worry, because I didn't really push him away as he snogged me.

He smiled, and kissed my cheek. "Have a good day, and try not to get into too much trouble. See yah!"

**Afternoon Break**

Finally able to tell the Ace Gang what has happened both yesterday and today.

Jas comforted me, and gave me her cheesy wotsits.

Jools said, "Blimey, three snogs in one day!"

Mabs added in, "With three different boys, mind you!"

Ellen dithered about, "Well, I mean, so, are you and, you know, Masimo done with, you know?"

I looked at her. Partially because she really is the Queen of Dither Central, and partially because I didn't know the answer.

**Last Bell**

I must put on a brave face, gird my loins, and walk out there, and face Masimo with my nungas held high and proud!

**Two Minutes Later**

Sent Mabs to check if Masimo was waiting at the gate.

She came back, and said he was, "And he doesn't look vair happy."

The Gang all gave me a hug, and I smiled bravely. Here I go.

**In Bed**

**7:30 pm**

Oh can life get ANY worse?

When I reached Masimo, he just said, "Ciao". No snogging, no hugging, nuffink. We walked a bit, until we found a bench all on its lonesome in the woods.

"Georgia, I do like you, very much. And I think you are liking me as well, no?"

I nodded.

"Than, please tell me, that Robbie was right, and that he was doing the snogging on you, and you did nothing. Please tell me that, and we will be doing okay."

"I didn't do-" But than I stopped myself. Masimo looked vair sad, and I didn't want to lie to him, even if it did hurt him more.

"Robbie did snog me first," I said, looking down at my shoe. "But I didn't tell him to stop. I let him snog me, and I kissed him back."

Masimo put his head in his hands (No, he didn't actually remove his head and place it in hands).

"I am so sorry, Masimo." I felt my eyes get all wettish and teary.

"I am being sorry too, Caro. I guess, we are, how you say dumped?"

I nodded sadly, and so did he. He kissed my cheek and got up to leave.

But, he said, "When she telephoned me, to be telling me that you were with Robbie, I thought she was not truth telling. But, I was mistaken." He got on his scooter, and rode off, so he didn't hear me shout "Who?!"

**7:50 pm**

Who could've rang Masimo and told him I was at the park with Robbie? The old men playing chess?! They did look quite shifty… Perhaps, they were actually undercover Red-bottomosity police.

**8:15 pm**

Phoned Jas.

"Jas, I have got news!"

"Do tell, mon pally!"

I told her everything, and she was quite shocked.

"Who could've phoned him?" she asked.

"Jas, if I had known that, I wouldn't be on the phone with you, I would be out beating that person to a pulp."

"Hold on," She said, than I heard her yelling, "TOM! COME HERE, PLEASE!"

Oh joy!

"Hello?" Came Tom's voice into the phone.

"Tom?" I said.

"Yes, it's me. Hi, Gee. How's it going?"

"Quite well thanks, considering I have been dumped."

"Oh, that's too bad. If it makes you feel at all better, Robbie is devastated. He feels real badly, and hopes you won't be mad with him."

I told him I wouldn't be mad.

Tom said, "Oh, good! He really still likes you, you know. Even though Lindsay has been practically stalking him. He doesn't realize it, but it's quite pathetico. She hides in bushes and such."

HAHAHAHA old thongy was stalking Robbie. And hiding in bushes! What larks!

**Wednesday, September 19****th**

**8:30 am**

Lolloping up the hill with Jas. She said her and Tom are going to Katie's party as Cinderella and Prince Charming. How original. She told me if I wanted to, I could go as the Fairy Godmother.

I deffo didn't want to go as some bint in wings. She is being a very kind pally, though, so I told her I'd think about it.

**French**

During assembly, Lindsay kept mouthing words like "Tart" and "Whore" at me. I didn't understand why, until now.

I sent around a note to the Ace Gang (Madame Slack was away, Miss Wilson was supplying).

_Pallies!_

_I have put 2 and 2 together, and did not get 4!  
I have realized Lindsay is the one who rang Masimo about the kissing Robbie shenanigan!_

_It makes perfect sense!  
__X Gee_

Jas sent back the note, she scribbled:

_Do tell!  
xo J_

I looked up at Miss Wilson, she was conjugating verbs on the blackboard.

_Tom said Lindsay was STALKING Robbie in bushes,_

_As you know, at the park, there is plenty of shrubbery._

_During assembly, she kept mouthing words like "Tart" and "Whore".  
Normally, she just gives me the evils.  
__It all makes sense!  
X Gee_

This time Rosie responded.

_That absolute bitch of the first waters!  
We must eat her! NOW!  
Ro xxxx_

Jools also scribbled a response on the back side.

_You have to get her back, Gee.  
We must stage a fisticuffs at dawn.  
It's the only sensible thing.  
jools._

* * *

**_Hahahhah!_ Rid of Masimo once and for all! (Possibly)! I hope you enjoyed this, the last chappie had a lack of reviews, so start reviewing! FANKSSS xxxx**


	5. Ariel, 2 Eric's and a Sleeping Beauty

**Disclaimer: I only own zee plot. AND DAVES HEART :)

* * *

**

Final Bell

**4:15 pm**

Walking home with the Ace Gang. Lindsay was standing at the gate, possibly waiting for Robbie to show up. Tres pathetico. As we walked by, she said "Tart."

I stopped and looked at her, "Pardon?"

She smirked, "Nothing."

I carried on, "Forgive me if I am right, but did you just call ME a tart?"

Lindsay clapped her hands together, "Very good, Nicolson. Maybe you're not as dumb as you look!"

Oooooooh! THAT'S IT!

"You know what Lindsay?! Why don't you just shut up and LEAVE ME ALONE?!" I shouted. A crowd was forming.

"How dare YOU tell ME to shut up!" She screamed. Ohh! She is SO octopussy!!

"Georgia!" Jas said, "Just leave it! Let's go."

I nodded and turned around to go.

"Whore." Lindsay said.

That does it! I don't know what came over me, but I turned around and slapped Lindsay across the face!!

"YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH!!" Lindsay yelled, and she raised her hand to slap me, but she was stopped…

BY SLIM!!

Slim came wobbling over, shouting "LINDSAY! I have never been more disappointed in you! You will be suspended from your Prefect duties for the rest of term! I will also be seeing you in my office, every day after school for the rest of the month!"

Lindsay looked like she had just swallowed a lump of poo. Hahah, old weedy one. As Lindsay walked off, she gave me absolute daggers, and to top of the cake SHE TRIPPED GOING DOWN THE HILL! WHAT LARKS!

Rosie said, "Wow, Georgia! You are vair dead! But I am oh so proud of you!" She gave me a hug.

Some Foxwood lads had been watching as well. Including Dave. He gave me a sort of thumbs up, and walked away.

**Thursday, September 20th**

**5:30 pm**

I am literally the talk of the school. It's a bloody miracle no teachers found out. Jools heard Lindsay telling Slim I had slapped her, but Slim said "All I saw was you raising your hand, and calling Georgia a horrible name!"

Hahhahah! Oh, happy times!

**5:45 pm**

Tomorrow is Katie's party. I've yet to decide whether or not I will go. I'd like to go, so perhaps I will. I quite like the idea of being Ariel from the Little Mermaid, perhaps I can call up cousin James to be Prince Eric.

**5:46 pm**

Oh yeah, James is in the navy, now. Possibly becoming a homosexualist.

The phone is ringing, so I naturally have to get it.

**6:00 pm**

It was Robbie. Oh my Lanta.

I said, "Nicolson rez, Georgia speaking,"

And he laughed a bit and said, "Hey, Gee. It's me, Robbie."

My knees went a bit trembly, "Oh, hi."

"I heard what happened with you and Lindsay…"

Oh darn, he probably thinks I'm some sort of violently tempered woman. So I said, "I don't know what came over me, I actually am a pacifist, you know…"

He laughed, "I thought it was brilliant, I wish I had seen it. Tom said you gave her a good slapping."

I laughed into the receiver, "Yes, well I imagine it hurt like billio, my hand ached all night."

"Haha. So are you going to Katie's party tomorrow night? I reckon it'll be good fun."

"Yes, well I think so."

"Good, I'll see you there than." OOOOOOH HE'LL SEE ME THEREEE!!

"Groovy," I said.

"Anyways, I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Gee."

"Bye,"

**6:50 pm**

Honey face mask applied and toe nails painted. I have decided I will be going as Ariel tomorrow. I can wear my bikini top, and possibly my skinny jeans, for a sort of tailish look. And, a pair of flippers, just for comedy. Also, heavy black makeup and lots of glitter.

**Friday, September 21****st**

**4:30 pm**

Boring school day. I must start my preparations.

**5:00 pm**

I've got my purple bikini top on, and my jeans. I also found my flippers in the garage, but they had spiders in them, so I'll just wear flip flops.

**5:35 pm**

I have sprayed my hair with this sort of salt water stuff Mutti had in the washroom that was "guaranteed to give you beachy waves – Without the beach!"

It looks like I have just got off my surfboard and let my hair dry naturally. For the piece de whotsit, I took a flower from the vase on the kitchen table, and stuck it in my hair.

**6:15 pm**

My makeup looks marvy, if I do say so myself! I really do look mermaidesque.

**6:30 pm**

Walking to Katie's with Jas and Tom. The others are meeting us there. Jas had her hair up, and her fringe pulled back. She was also wearing a sparkly blue dress, and really groovy clear heels. They weren't glass though, as I pointed out to her.

I said, "Jas, forgive me if I'm right, but doesn't Cinderella wear GLASS shoes? Not plastic?

Tom laughed, but Jas got huffy.

I gave her a hug and all was good.

**In Bed  
2:35 am**

Ughhh! I feel SO sick. It was quite a good night, though. Aside from a few MINOR (and my minor, I mean major) things.

When we arrived at Katie's house, there were a lot of people already there. Ellen and Declan had gone as Snow White, and the Prince. Jools and Rollo were Beauty and the Beast (He was covered head to toe in fur), Mabs and Edward went as Alice and the Cheshire Cat, and of course, Rosie was Cogsworth, and Sven was Lumiere, with Candles glued to his golden one piece body suit.

No sign of Dave the Laugh, though. Or Robbie.

We all danced together for a bit, than the WEIRDEST thing happened. Both Dave AND Robbie came in, at the same time. And BOTH of them were dressed as Prince Eric (Ariel's Prince). Dave looked at me. I looked at Dave. Robbie looked at me. I looked at Robbie. Jas looked at me. I looked at Jas. What was this? A looking party?

Than Emma waltzed on in. Dressed as Sleeping Beauty. WHAT THE FRESH HELL?

Robbie came up to me, "We seem to go together," he said.

"Why, yes! It would appear so!"

He laughed, and we danced a bit.

I looked over at Dave and Emma, she was yelling at him. I heard what she was saying. She was saying "You weren't supposed to go as Prince Eric, Dave! Now, I look like a bloody fool! Why couldn't you stick to the plan?!"

He was speaking too quietly, so I couldn't hear him, but she ended up kissing him, right on the mouth, so I guess all was (sort of) good.

**2:45 am**

Eughhhh! I just vomited. I feel like death.

Anyways, as I continued dancing with Robbie, I noticed Dave and Emma were gone. Had they left already?! Maybe they got into another row, and had broken up.

A fast song came on next, and it was too hot on the dance floor. I told Robbie I was just going to walk around a bit, and that I'd be back soon. He said okay, and kissed my cheek, and went to go talk to some lads.

I walked upstairs, it was too crowded downstairs, and I felt I needed some space. I decided to go into Katie's bedroom (I knew it was her room, as it said KATIE on the door) I opened the door and just about had a spazz to end all spazzes.

There was Emma, lying on Katie's bed, in her bra and knickers. And Dave, on top of her, in his boxer shorts.

It all happened so fast. Emma sort of shrieked "Go Away!" and Dave jumped off Emma, and said, "Georgia, I-"

I closed the door quickly, and stood there in absolute shock. I quickly walked back downstairs. I must've still had a shocked look on my face because Jas came running over and asked what had happened.

I told her the gory details.

"How disgusting! In Katie's bedroom?!"

I nodded.

Someone had brought in a whole cooler of alcohol. Katie offered me a bottle, I accepted it, because I felt vair crappy and apparently alcohol makes you feel betterish.

It was strawberry flavoured, and quite good. I couldn't even tell it was alcohol. I finished the bottle, and accepted a second. This time, it was watermelon flavoured, and just as good.

Robbie found me again, he had a bottle as well. We began dancing wildly, and I was having such a good time! I had actually forgotten about Dave. I didn't mean too, but I guess it was just all the dancing, and the alcohol, but I snogged Robbie. Right in the middle of the dance floor. He was running his hands through my hair, and down my back. It felt soooo good!

We managed to get upstairs, whilst still attached at the mouth, and found our way into an empty room. I reckon it was Katie's parent's room. Oo-er!

We kept kissing and kissing, and I pushed him onto the bed, and got on top of him. I was about to put my hand up his shirt, but he stopped me. He gently rolled me over, so we were both staring at the ceiling.

"I like you, Gee. You know I do, but you're a bit drunk, and I don't want to do anything while you're not in a right state of mind. You know?"

I nodded my head, but I didn't really understand. He kissed me lightly on the mouth, and got up to go.

So I was all aloney. In Mr and Mrs Steadman' bedroom. Partially drunk. Poo.

I went downstairs to tell Jas I was leaving. She asked if I wanted her to come with, I told her it was okay. I saw Dave had come back downstairs as well. He was slow dancing with Emma, but he was looking at me.

I left.

It felt nice and coolish outside, but I also felt vair, vair sickish, and sort of wobbly. Stupid alcohol.

I heard Katie's front door open, than shut. I was too sickish to turn around and look, but whoever it was, was following me. And also calling my name. It was Dave.

I turned around, and said quite nastily, "What!?"

"I saw you leaving, and I thought something was wrong…"

"Well nothing is wrong!" Wrong. At the exact moment, I threw up. All over my feet (I was wearing flip-flops! Erlack!!) And Dave's feet.

"Have you been drinking??" He asked.

I nodded, and threw up at bit more.

He groaned, and came behind me, and held my hair back, as I gagged. "Eughhhh" I said, wiping my mouth on my arm.

"You, are an absolute mess."

He walked me home. Mutti and Vati were still out, so he came in, to help me up the stairs and into my bed.

He tucked me up quite nicely, and kissed me on the nose. Which was quite sweet, but he said, "Jeez, you smell horrible!"

I told him I wanted him to stay, but he said he couldn't. He turned my light out, and left.

* * *

** I know it all happened quick, but I reckon it's an okay chapter... People are reading but not reviewing!! Please, please, please reviewww!! If I dont get any more reviews, I will make Georgia and Masimo GET BACK TOGETHER, and make Dave be 100 faithful to Emma. Hahahaha, I am so cruel. So yah better review! xxx E**


	6. Snogging a Mouth on Legs

**Disclaimer: the plot is mine, the characters are Louise Rennisons, and the whole basic idea belongs to Louise as well. Lettus moveth on!

* * *

****nd**

Saturday, September 22

**In bed**

**12:30 pm**

I feel as though I am on deaths doorstep. I think Mutti knows I had been drinking last night, but she won't say anything. Vati, as always, is quite clueless.

She brought me up an aspirin, and some tea. Which is quite sweet of her.

**3:00 pm**

Venturing outside for a walk. I've gained some strength.

**5:00 pm**

Just got back in. I walked to the park, and naturally Dave was there. With Emma.

I tried to avoid them, but Emma saw me, and was all smiles. "Hi, Gee. Sorry about last night, sometimes Dave and I can't keep our hands off of each other." She laughed.

I felt a bit snippy so I said, "Frankly, EM, I do not care what you and Dave do with your hands."

She looked a bit hurt, and said, "Sorry, but there's no need to be rude."

Dave kind of just sat there, holding Emma's hand. It made me feel really weird inside. I walked away, and began to cry a bit. Why was I always so miserable?!

**5:45 pm**

Went around to Ellen's for an Ace Gang meeting to discuss the events that have unfolded last night.

"Gee," Jools said, "I saw you and Robbie go upstairs, anything happen?"

I shook my head. "We did some kissing on the bed, but that's it."

Ellen said, "So, uhm, are you two, like, together again?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

Mabs said her and Edward got to number 9 (Below Waist Activity). "Oooh!" Jools said, "How was it?"

"It was a bit weird, but kind of nice, I suppose. We just did some touching."

**7:30 pm**

Vati went out with Uncle Eddie, and Mutti took Libby to the pictures. I can see Mark outside my window; he and some girl are snogging. She is a bit tall, which is quite an improvement. Normally he dates midgets. Whoever it is, I hope he swallows her head. Just so I can crack a smile.

**Two Minutes Later**

Ohmygiddygodsleopardprintthong! It is Emma! Mark is snogging Emma! Emma! Dave the Laugh's bloody girlfriend! I must call Dave at once.

**Twenty Seconds Later**

Dially, Dially… Ringy, Ringy…

"Hello, Sensation Seekers. Dave speaking!"

"Dave! It's Gee! I have just been looking out the window and guess what the bloody hell I saw!?"

"Ringo Starr in a plaid frock?"

"No, but that'd be quite a laugh."

"Well, spit it out Sex Kitty,"

"It's Mark."

"Big gob?"

"Yes, him, and he's with a girl…"

"Damn, I had always thought he was on the turn. He seemed to like whenever I sat on his head…"

"Do you know who the girl was?"

"The Queen?"

"I ask you, what on Earth would her maj the Queen be doing snogging a mouth on legs?"

"You tell me. Anyways, who is it?"

"Err, well, please don't be sad, but it's Emma."

He was silent. "Dave?"

"Emma, Emma?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?" He sounded quite sad.

"I'm positive, I'm really sorry, Dave. Would you like me to go duff her up?"

"No, that's okay. I better go. But, thanks for telling me, Gee,"

"Yeah, anytime, Dave."

Than he hung up.

**Sunday, September 24****th**

**2:15 pm**

Jas came around earlier for some lunck. We were than sitting outside on the wall, and Emma passed by all red faced, and teary-eyed.

Jas said, "Emma what has happened??"

Emma sniffled, "Dave has dumped me!"

HAHHAHAH GOOD! "Oh, that's too bad," I said, faking sympatheticosity.

Emma wiped her eyes on her sleeve, and said "Oh, don't even, Georgia! I know you're secretly thrilled. You like Dave, and couldn't stand him being with me!" Than she walked away.

"What an absolute cow she is," I said.

"If she was cheating with Mark, she deserved it." Jas said. Oh, how I love my bestie!!

**5:30 pm**

Phoned the Gang.

I said, "Tomorrow we begin operation Glove-Animal!"

**Monday, September 25****th****  
8:25 am**

Jas and I have pinned our gloves over our ears. She began fussing, so I had to pin hers on for her. Forcefully. We met up with the others at the bottom of the hill. Hahaha operation Glove-Animal is a go!!

Hawkeye wasn't standing guard today, Miss Wilson was. She didn't seem to notice all six of us had glove ears. She said, "Remember, girls, today after school we will be doing a run-through of Romeo and Juliet!"

Hurrah! The lads will be coming over! There is bound to be some good times ahead!

**Assembly**

Hawkeye is in the hospital with a broken leg! Tres excellente, with a side of PANTS.

When Slim told us the merry news, that Hawkeye would be off for possibly two weeks, Rosie and I did a merry fist pump for England. Than Lindsay shot us some daggers. Even a rat has a bigger forehead than she does!

**RE**

Almost the final bell. Thankfully we have RE so I can start my beauty routine for when the lads show up. The whole school as gone mad. All the loo's are crowded to the point of explosion, with girls doing "natural" makeup. And the best part is, HAWKEYE ISN'T HERE TO STOP US!!

Mabs said she even saw Slim applying some sort of greenish lippy. Erlack.

**Rom and Jul Rehearsal**

Thankfully we started off, by doing my death scene. I was vair, vair dramatic, and overall did an absolute ace performance. Now, I can stay back stage with the lads.

Dave was surrounded by his usual prospects of tarts. How full of sadosity. I shall not join them, as I have much too much prideish.

**Sitting on Dave's Knee**

He's pretending to be a horsey, and going "giddyup, giddyup!" and sort of bouncing me on his knees. It's making my bumoley a bit sore.

"So, I heard you and Emma are finito?" I said, casually.

"So, I heard you and Masimo are finito, Missy?" He said.

"Well, yes"

"Excellent, did he finally show you his handbag collection? Or did you catch him kissing another bloke?"

"Actually Dave, he dumped me."

"Ooouuu Really? Well, you're better off without him."

"Yes, well you're better off without Emma. As, she is a tart of the first waters and beyond."

He laughed, and thankfully stopped bouncing his knees.

That's when I noticed my lips were beginning to pucker, and Dave was inching closer, so I said, "Robbie and I are going out now."

He nearly dropped me off his knees. "You, and Robbie? Since when?!"

He looked a tad bit saddish. "Uhm, well, remember that day, you came and I snogged you, and you yelled? Yes, well before that, Masimo came to apologize, and he snogged me. And even before THAT, Robbie came by to say he likes me, and that I'm basically the most fabbest girl he has ever met, and he snogged me."

He looked like he was about to say something, but Miss Wilson yelled, "Mercutio, Mercutio, on stage please!"

I jumped off Dave's knee and waved him bye-bye.

**In Bed**

**11:15 pm**

Robbie picked me up after school, and we went to Luigi's. It was kind of chilly, se we ordered hot chocolate, which is good, as there is no foam. And no foam equals no Santa Claus look.

He was leaning over the table, a bit, and holding my hands. Which was nice, especially as Lindsay walked in, saw us, gave me the evils, walked up to Robbie, and said "Oh, Hi Robbie!" Tossing her extensiony octopussy extensions, over her shoulder.

He said, "Erm, Hello, Lindsay…" But he was STILL LOOKING AT ME!!

She was absolutely livid! HAHAHAHHA OLD THONGY.

After she left, Robbie looked at me some more. Than, he said, "Georgia, you know I do like you, a lot. And, I would love to be your proper boyfriend, but would you? Like to be my proper girlfriend, I mean?"

Ohhhhhhhh no! Did I? Did I want to be Robbie's proper girlfriend? He was so gorgey porgey, with blue, blue eyes and Sex Goddy looks. And, he seemed to not like Lindsay much, which is normally as plus. I told him I would think about it. He nodded and smiled.

**Tuesday, September 26****th**

Day two of operation Glove-Animal!! Miss Wilson was again on seeing-eye dog duty, and didn't notice! Hahahah!

**Assembly**

Lindsay has had a frightening smirk all morning. I'm scared.

**German**

Herr Kamyer tripped over the wires from the overhead-projector. He landed on Melanie's desk, with his head practically in her nungas!

**At Jas's**

Oohhhh! I must acid-wash my eyes!!

As we were leaving hell (Stalag 14) I saw Dave waiting by the gates. I went a bit spazzoid, as I didn't have any makeup on, because I much too tired from a hard day of learning. So, Jas, Rosie and Jools made a sort of human wall, so I can quickly apply lippy and mascara and roll-up my skirt, and take off my tie.

It didn't even matter though, because he wasn't waiting for ME. He was talking to LINDSAY. WET LINDSAY!

He gave her a kiss on the cheek, and they walked off together!!

Rosie offered to savagely bite her ankles.

**At Home**

**6:58 pm**

I saw Dom while I was walking home from Jas's.

He said, "Hey Gee, long time, no dig."

I said hello, like I slightly normal person.

"Have you heard, Masimo has left the Stiff Dylans?"

I shook my head no, WHAAAAT?!

He nodded, "Yeah, he's going back to Italy next month. It's a shame, really." I sort of nodded.

He than said, "Yeah, but Robbie's back in, officially, and we're having a gig at the Honey Club, Saturday night. Hopefully you can stop by!"

I nodded.

"Well, see you then," He than walked off.

Oh my.

* * *

**I'd like to think I am the Queen of Speedy Quick Updating. I have some excellente plans for the up&coming chapters, and thankfully no Masimo! (Possibly). Keep on reviewing, and keep on groovin' ! x EMILY**


	7. Like a Decoy Duck Type Thing

**Disclaimer: Plot Me . Characters Louise Rennison**

* * *

**Wednesday, September 27****th**

**Science**

Lindsay has been going around all day, talking about her new "Boyfriend". Dave can't POSSIBLY be dating her, can he?!

**Walking Home**

Ohhh, but he is! He was waiting for her after her detentions!! They walked off together, hand in hand!

Oh poo. And double merde.

**Friday, September 29****th**

Robbie brought me to school today (With a good stop at 4, 5 and 6!). He asked if I'd be going to the gig tomorrow night.

I said, "Is a dolphin a fish?"

And he said "No, it's a mammal, isn't it?"

I went something like, "Ermm, well, I mean, yes. Yes, I am going."

And he said, "You are quite sensationally mad, but I do adore it."

And another round of 4, 5 and 6!!

**At home**

**5:00 pm**

Boring day. I couldn't see Robbie after school, as he was rehearsing. I better start planning my outfit.

**5:15 pm**

Skirt or dress? Skirt, I think.

**Five Seconds Later**

No, dress.

**Ten Seconds Later**

No, skirt!!

**Five Seconds Later**

But the dress is quite nice… I'll wear it.

**Ten Minutes Later**

So, I will wear Mutti's new sequined tank-top, and my skirt. Excellent.

**Saturday, September 30****th**

**7:14 am**

Woke up and thought it was time for the gig. Ah, well, early to rise, early to snog.

**Kitchen**

Vati nearly had a heart attack, when he saw I was awake.

"What's happened?" He said.

"Nothing,"

"Well, why are you awake?"

Honestly! Like I'm not even welcome in my own home!

**In the Bath**

It's quite relaxing in here. Aside from the fact that Vati is outside the door shouting at me.

"I would like to take a shower this side of the grave, Georgia!"

Ahhhh, I'm too relaxed to even yell back.

**Blow-drying my Diary**

My diary fell into the bath, and has gotten a bit damp. And by a bit damp, I mean soaked.

**12:30 pm**

Having a nutritious lunch of jammy dodgers, midget gems and milky coffee. Yummy scrumboes.

**1:00 pm**

I better start getting ready. I found this sort of glittery body powder in Mutti's sock drawer. I have covered every bit of my skin in it. I look like a shimmering Goddess. Irresistible!

**1:40 pm**

I'm not sure what to do with my hair. Maybe I will flat iron it.

**1:54 pm**

OWWWWWWWW!! BLOODY HELL! I have burnt my neck with the flat iron!!

**2:15 pm**

My hair is all straight and smoothy smooth. It looks vair fab.

**5:30 pm**

Mutti and Vati are going to one of Uncle Eddie's shows – ERLACK! And she (Mutti) asked if she could borrow my leatherette skirt. Why, you ask? I don't know. But I agreed, as long as I could borrow her sequin tank top, and her silvery purse.

**6:00 pm**

I'm dressed quite groovily, if I do say so myself. I have my denim mini on, and Mutti's silver sequined top. I also have on a pair of these really groovy black heels that I bought last year that I had forgotten about.

**6:30 pm**

Makeup time!!

**6:45 pm**

I look like I belong in the valley of Grooviness. My eyes are all smoky and black and silvery, and I have got my new watermelon lippy on. A squirt of the perfume Masimo gave me (Well, I can't just NEVER use it again!) and away I go!

**7:00 pm**

Jas and I are meeting the gang at the clock tower. If Dave brings Lindsay, there will be another slapping fiasco.

**At the Honey Club  
Tart's Wardrobe**

When we got to the Clock Tower, Rollo said Dave was coming along separately and would meet us at the club. With his new girlfriend!!

The club was in full swing! Dave was already there, sitting at the bar. With Lindsay. At the bar sitting. With Lindsay. GADZOOKS!!

**In Snuggly Head Quarters (Bed)  
2:45 am**

What a night! I really had a jolly good time!

After I escaped from the Tart's Wardrobe, the Dylans came on!! Everyone went ballisticimus!! They are very good, and I must say, Robbie's voice is a teensy bit groovier than Masimo's.

They started off with "Ultraviolet" which is my personal fave! I danced with the gang, and it was quite a laugh! Tom, Jas and I made up a short routine, to the chorus. It was actually quite good!

I noticed Dave and Lindsay weren't dancing, they were still sitting and talking. She had her hand on his leg. Eughhh! If I were him, I'd amputate it post-haste!

The Dylans played a new song, after that, it was called "Ever Fallen in Love" it was great dancing music. Robbie was looking at me as he sung, which was groovy, because I went slightly jelloid in the knickers department.

I looked back at Dave and the wet weed, and I noticed she was gone. Good. I hope Dave told her she was a stick-insect.

I walked over to him, and sat on the stool next to him. He turned to look at me, "Hey, KittyKat, why aren't you groovin'?"

"Why are you HERE with Lindsay!?"

"Well, I, you see, I'm not really WITH her,"

"Lindsay is my SWORN enemy, Dave! I can't believe you!"

"No, Georgia, listen…"

"Grrrrr! Dave you make me so mad, I can just… just… PUNCH YOU!!"

Dave kind of looked shocked, and so did I. So I got up and left. And went to find Rosie to dance with.

Sven lifted me up, so my knickers were CLEARLY visible. And he swung me and Mabs around, and kissed us both on the mouth, and put us down.

It was waaaaaay to hot dancing, and I probably had that attractive (not) red and sweaty look, so I went back to the Tart's Wardrobe.

Confirmed. I look like a strawberry. I splashed some water on my face, and fixed up my makeup. Than, went into the stall to go to the piddly diddly department.

Than two people came shuffling in.

"So, tell me, why did he agree to this?" It was ADM.

"I told him, I had liked him for a while, and that I was only messing about with Robbie to make him jealous." Came Lindsay's slimy voice.

"And, do you? Like him, that is?" Asked ADM.

"Ahaha of course not! I'm just using him to make Robbie jealous, so he'll leave that tart, Nicolson and come back to me. Poor, Dave. I reckon he really does fancy me." OOOOOH! SO THAT'S HER PLAN, HUH? WELL GOOD LUCK, OLD THONGY ONE, ROBBIE WILL NEVER, EVER TAKE YOU BACK. AHAHAHHAHAH. And Dave! Poor Dave, I must alert him!!

Lindsay looked in the mirror, (without screaming – imagine that!) and her and ADM left.

I went back to the dance floor, and told Jas what I had just heard,

"Sacre bleu!"

"Oui."

Jas reckons I should go clear the air vis-à-vis Dave. So I went up to him (Slimy Octopussy went somewhere with Monica). He was in a particularly empty part of the club.

"Dave, I was just in the Tart's wardrobe…"

"Ah, in the piddly diddly department?" He said

"Well, yes, but Lindsay was in there,"

"Oh, was there another catfight? I hope you got it on tape…"

"No, well I heard her talking to ADM about how she's trying to make Robbie jealous, and that she's just using you. She doesn't really like you, Dave. I'm sorry, but you can do much better than her, please don't be sad. She is a wet git with no forehead"

"Georgia…"

"But Lindsay! She is an OCTOPUS! How can you have fallen for an octopus? It'll shoot poison ink at you, and eat you."

"Why is it bothering you so much?! It's not like Robbie will ACTUALLY fall for her again!" He said, getting a bit angry.

"I'm only angry for you, after all, she is your, sort of girlyfriend."

"Maybe I'm using her,"

"Huh, what?"

"Maybe I'm using her, like you know, a decoy duck type thing. Have you thought of that?"

"Wait, so you're both doing using?!"

He nodded.

"Oh thank God's leopard print leotard. Go break up with her, and make a big scene, so she leaves and cries and her eyes get all small like mice eyes.. Infact I'll-"

I couldn't continue because it would appear that Dave's mouth was stuck on mine.

And I quite enjoyed it.

* * *

**Well, I hope everyone is content!! Keep on reviewing, and I'll update sooooon :) xxxxxx em**


	8. On the Bright Side

**Discalimer: I don't own the characters or the idea of Georgia Nicolson. I only own this plot, and possibly Dave the Laugh's heart.**

* * *

**Sunday, October 1****st**

**Sitting on the Wall**

**2:30 pm**

After Dave and I snogged quite heavily (number 4, times about 200, than 5 and 6) he said, "I'd really lurve to be your proper boyfriend, Gee. We have such a laugh together, all the time, and well; I am practically deeply, madly and completely infatuated with you. And your nose."

I half expected him to have a red comedy nose on, like he did that other time, when he said he wanted to be with me. But, he didn't. He looked quite serious, actually.

"Well, uhm, I…" I said, not very intelligently.

And he kissed me lightly on the mouth, "Think about it, okay, KittyKat?"

After saying goodbye to Lindsay (Or so I thought) he left. I went back out onto the dance floor, where I heard Lindsay shrieking to Monica,

"He wasn't supposed to DUMP ME! I didn't even like him! This is utter crap! Get my coat!"

Oh, sunny days are here again!

**4:00 pm**

Robbie came by, earlier. He just left now. I told him everything. I told him about Lindsay using Dave as a decoy duck. I told him about Dave using Lindsay as a decoy duck. I told him that I really did like him, but I also did really like Dave.

He took it quite well (No sign of tears, thank goodness). He did say, "You're a great girl Gee. Mad, but really great." I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're not going back with Lindsay, are you?"

He laughed, "Don't worry, I wont."

"Good."

**7:30 pm**

Rang Jas.

"Jas?" I said.

"Yessum?" She said.

"I have ended things avec Robbie,"

"Non!"

"Oui!" Than, I heard Jas, yelling for all of England to hear: "Tom, Georgia has ended things with Robbie!"

Than, I heard Tom shout "Why? I thought they were getting along well,"

Than, Jas's Mutti joined in, "I thought Robbie was dating Lindsay, and Gee was dating that Italian bloke,"

Tom shouted, "Keep up, Miriam. Lindsay told Masimo that Georgia and Robbie were in the park snogging, than they broke up. Than, Lindsay began using Dave as a decoy duck to make Robbie jealous."

Jas's Mutti than said, "Oh, how could I have missed all that?"

Than I hung up.

**Monday, October 2****nd**

**R.E**

Just before assembly began, I heard Lindsay telling a bunch of girls that she had dumped Dave. Ha, as if, wet one!

Rosie has been adding fur to her face since class began. Miss Wilson has yet to notice.

**Afternoon Break**

The titches came up to me, and asked if I was dating Dave.

I said, "Errr…"  
Titch #1 said, "Can you please find out his favourite colour, Miss?"

Than, Titch #2 said, "Yes, and find out whether he prefers vanilla pudding over chocolate pudding, Miss? Chocolate is my favouritest. It's brillo-pads!"

I nodded, and they left.

Rosie said, "I wish Sven had a personal fanclub."

Than, Ellen said, "Well, erm, Declan, he, well, he's got a sort of fan club, type thingy."

Jools asked who his fan club was.

Ellen said, "Well, erm me. Because, like, I do, you know rate him."

Oh Buddha!

**Rom and Jul Rehearsal**

Jas and Tom are on stage practising their death scene. They are well into it.

Dave told me he has gotten a new dog.

"Well, he's a black Labrador." He said, "And he's got blue eyes. He's quite sweet looking. You should come over and see him."

"What's his name?"

"Pickles."

The short of it is, Dave and I can now go pet-walking together, once Angus is ripping with health.

I told Dave about his fan club, he told me his favourite colour was "Sunshine Yellow" and he only eats vanilla pudding, OCCASIONALLY chocolate, but NEVER butterscotch.

**Home**

**6:30 pm**

Dave walked me home. Jas and the gang went off to the pictures, but I didn't want to go.

As we were walking, Dave sang this song called "Tired of England" by a band I had never heard of. (He later told me they were called Dirty Pretty Things, or something odd like that).

He sang really loudly, "HOW CAN THEY BE TIRED OF ENGLAND? THEY'LL NEVER KNOW THE ENGLAND WE KNOW!"

People drove by and looked at us strangely.

When we reached my house, he gave me a proper snog on the mouth, and winked. "See yah, Sex Kitty!"

**Tuesday, October 3****rd**

**At Home  
4:45 pm**

Boring school day. Going for a walk to the park.

**7:30 pm**

OH MY LORD SANDRAAAAAAA! GADZOOKS AND LACKADAY!!

As I ambled of to the park, I saw Dave walking the most adorable puppy I have possibly ever seen!

He ran towards me, (Pickles sort of shuffled along, in a bit of a hopping fashion)

"Sex Kitty, this is Pickles" He gestured towards the pup.

I levelled with the dog. He was soooo cutesy!!

"Hello, Pickles! You are looking quite fab tonight!"

Pickles rolled over, so I tickled his tummy.

We walked on, and Dave let me hold Pickles' lead. He is much easier to walk. Angus would normally sky-rocket down the walk and drag me along.

"He's vair, vair cute, Dave" I said, as Dave undid his lead (Not Dave's lead, Pickles' lead!). Pickles ran off and came back with a stick, and lied down and began chomping away.

Dave and I sat on a bench. He slowly took my hand, and held it, on his leg. I could feel him looking at me, even though I was watching Pickles.

"Georgia?" He said, and I turned to look at him.

Ooooooooooh-er! Jelloid knickers alert! Jelloid knickers alert! He was just sort of staring at me, and his eyes looked so groovy and intense, and it just had to be done!

I snogged him, and snogged and snogged him. Until I finally retreated for some air, otherwise I think I would've fainted, whilst still attached to Dave at the mouth.

It was possibly one of the best snogs I ever had. It was sort of fireworks exploding, waves crashing, absolutely jelloid from head to toe type of snog.

It was basically perfect, aside from the fact Pickles was looking at us, with his head tilted a bit.

Dave was all smiles, and so was I. I told him that I really would like to be his proper girlfriend, and we snogged some more.

When I got home, there was a dead mouse on my bed.

**Two Seconds Later**

On the bright side, I am now the girlfriend of a LAUGH GOD!!

* * *

**It's about time, too! I hope you liked that, I know it was short, but sweet nonetheless, right? Keep on reviewing, and I'll keep on updating :)  
Also, the song TIRED OF ENGLAND by DIRTY PRETTY THINGS is ace. Give it a listen !  
And, Dave the Laugh Edward Cullen (Dave the Laugh is GREATER than Edward Cullen) :)  
xox E**


	9. Half a Pickle

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, nuffink else! Oh, and prepare for a VAIRRRR short chapter!**

* * *

**Wednesday, October 3****rd**

**In bed**

**7:00 am**

Well it's quite early, is it not? I had a horrible dream that Lindsay was in fact an octopus and squirted ink all over a white dress I was wearing out on a date with Dave. She literally is a nightmare.

**7:15 am**

Slim has told us that Hawkeye will be back tomorrow. Sacre Bleu! T'was a fun run, without her though. She is NOT missed.

**7:30 am**

I used some of Mutti's "Natural Waves" spray again. I do look like some sort of Beach Goddess.

**7:50 am**

Ate some jammy dodgers and a strawberry poptart. Yumm-o.

**7:55 am**

Makeup applied, as today is the last day I can get away with it. Hehehehe.

**Walking **

I told Jas about Dave and I, and how we were now official boyfriend/girlfriend peoples.

"Non!"

"Oui!"

"Finally!"

I nodded.

Speak of thy devil! Dave and the lads just jumped out of a bush to spook us. I found it to be comical, but Jas is all in a tiz because she messed up her fringe when she jumped about several feet back.

Dave gave me a peck on the cheek. "Hi gorg, you are looking mighty stunning in your jail suit."

"Fanks, Dave. As are you." And he did. His tie was all loosey goosey, and his hair was kinda messy, in that "I've-just-rolled-out-of-bed-look".

We did linksy-uppsy's and traipsed off to l'ecole. Dave told me that last night Pickles took a wazz on his duvet cover.

I asked him, "So, did you take that antelope by the horns and sleep in the cold?"

And he said "No, I still slept with it."

Erlackkkkk.

**Assembly**

Rosie managed to pull down her tights, and draw faces on her knees with eyeliner. She calls them "knee people". She passed her eyeliner down, and we all did the same.

My left knee was a sort of vampire, with fangs. And, my right knee was a very good impression of Slim (I drew several wobbling chins).

**Walking to French**

Ahhh success! You can clearly see the Knee people through our tights!

**Loos**

Madame Slack made us go wash our knees off. She said, "What is that on your knees?"

Rosie said, "They're knee people, Madame."

She said, "Well, go wash it off! Honestly, you lot are so childish!"

And I said, "We are simply expressing our lurve for art, in it's many forms!"

And Madame, quite rudely says, "Fermez la bouche". Honestly, there should be more art appreciation in our school.

**La Maison de Nicolson (Nicolson House, I think…)**

**6:00 pm**

Mutti told me that her and Vati were going away this weekend!! And taking Libs with them! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Mutti actually asked if I'd like to come along too! Hahahaha, as if!

She said if I like I ca invite the Ace Gang round Friday night and we can do a super duper slumber party!! She also said, "Absolutely NO boys!" Hahaha, that's what YOU think, Mutti, dearest…

**7:05 pm**

Phoned Jas to tell her the tres bonne news.

"Mutti said no boys allowed."

"Oh,"

"Tell Tom to tell the lads to come around nine o'clock Friday night,"

"Yesiree!"

**Party Headquarters (i.e my room)**

**9:15 pm**

Rang up Rosie, Jools, Mabs and Ellen. Their parents said they could come, (no surprise there, my M and V would have to interrogate whether there would be boys, alcohol, drugs, weaponry…).

I'm so vaaaaaair excited!!

**12:30 am**

Hopefully Dave will come. He never misses a shindig. There is a little part of me hoping that Sven wont come, as something is bound to go wrong whenever he is present.

I'm so exciteddd!! I don't think I will ever fall aslee- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

**Thursday, October 4****th**

**6:30 pm**

Mutti and Vati leave tomorrow at precisely 5:30 pm.

Jas and I are going to shop tomorrow to pickup essential slumber party essentials (Crisps, jammy dodgers, poptarts, midget gems, gummy wormies, etc!)

It may be costly getting enough snacks for twelve. I must check my money stashed away for a rainy day.

**Under my Bed**

Hmm. There's one measly pound. And half a pickle.

**7:42 pm**

Hahahah! Mutti has given me twenty-pounds for necessities! Yayyyyyy! She was quite startled when I gave her a kiss on the cheek. I was too, she must've had three pounds of foundation on. Erlack.

* * *

**-Runs for Cover- I knowwww it was so short! I'm sorry, and I know I haven't updated for OVER several hours. I was vair busy today, and well, tomorrow I may be as well. I'm going to a Masquerade for Breaking Dawn. I wanted to make a shirt that said "DAVE THE LAUGH IS GREATER THAN EDWARD CULLEN" but I have no time. So please review and I'll start whipping up a bigger, better, badder chapter ! xxxxxx Emily**


	10. Why So Serious?

**Disclaimer: The plot is mineeeee. The charrie's are Louise Rennisons. **

* * *

**Friday, October 5****th******

Assembly

Rosie nudged me in the ribs, quite hardly during prayer. When I looked up at her, she had rd lipstick all over her mouth area, and black eyeliner smudged around her eyes.

Than, she whispered "Why so serious?" (Y'know, that line? From the new batman movie, that all the blokes keep shouting out on the street?) And we both burst out in fits of laughter.

Hawkeye (Who was now back, and badder than ever,) stormed up the assembly hall steps, and practically yanked us by the ties (Oo-er!) and brought us to the corridor.

"Rosemary! Wash that ridiculous mess of your face right now, and report back here, instantly!"

Rosie, (Wrongly) said, "But, Ms Heaton, this makeup is in honour of the late Heath Ledger. I am sure he would love to know that people still-"

"Enough, Rosemary! Wash it of, now!"

Rosie walked off towards the loos, and when Hawkeye's back was turned, she did a quick bout of the Viking Hornpipe.

"As for you, Georgia, I would expect a little more maturity from you. Laughing during prayers? Well, I'll give you something to laugh about!"

The short of it is, Rosie and I have got to write out "I will not be free spirited, and mourn over the loss of Heath". Well, not exactly, but that's what we wrote. Hawkeye just tosses the papers into the trash after, I suspect.

**Five Seconds Later**

On second thought, she probably brings them home and reads them, while curled up in bed with her pet vulture.

**German**

Herr Kamyer had a pair of scrumtralecent polka-dotted socks on today. They matched his trousers.

Rosie flicked a crumpled up piece of paper at me. Fortunately, she missed and it landed in Jas's hair, and she didn't notice until Ellen said, "Erm, Jas, there's, like, uhm, something in your, uh, hair. I think."

_Gee  
Shall I bring over some Sweden-land foods to make Sven feel more welcomed?  
x Ro-Ro_

I replied,

_Like what?? Spangleferkel?  
__Xxxx GEE_

She threw another. Unfortunately, this time it landed on my desk with no trips into Jas's hair.

_That's German.  
__I mean like Swedish fish and berries  
ROOOOOOOOOOO x_

**R.E**

Jazzy and I have complied a list of things we need to buy:  
Crisps (Mabs says 'Lime and Black Pepper' flavoured)

Jammy Dodgers (times 100)

Midget Gems (Jas offered to bring them, but I suspect she stores them in her knickers)

Poptarts (Strawberry and S'mores flavoured)

Cake Donuts (Jools says Rollo lurves them)

Vanilla Pudding (its Dave's fave)

Cream Soda (Another of Dave's faves, I never tried it)

Flavoured Coffee

Ice Cream (With toffee pieces – it's apparently Hunky's fav)  
Whip cream (Oo-er!)

Some type of dessert type thing (Cake? Fairy cakes?)

Ellen said her and Declan plan on going to the Film-Rental shop, after school, to get some films. I told her to get the Sound of Music.

**5:20 pm**

Back home with snacks. I think Mutti is suspicious. She said, "I don't think six young girls can eat all that,"

She doesn't even care that there is nothing healthy. It wouldn't matter, it's not like she feeds me anyways.

**5:40 pm**

THEY'RE GONEEEEEE! FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST!

**6:00 pm**

Ace Gang, present and accounted for. The lads will come over at around nine, and the fiesta will begin!!

**6:05 pm**

We're setting everything up. Ellen got the films out of her rucksack. They were: The Sound of Music, Hairspray, and The Rocky Picture Horror Show. YESSSSS MUSICALS!

**8:00 pm**

We've pushed the couches back against the walls, and put our sleeping bags in front of the tube. We've made a sort of large sleeping bag, with hundreds of pillows (twelve pillows, actually).

We got changed into our pj's. Mine are vair groovy. They're pink and grey leopard print shorts and a white tank. OOOOOh I'm so excitamondoooooo!

**8:30 pm**

Half an hour…

**8:45 pm**

Fifteen minutes…

**8:55 pm**

Five minutes…

**9:02 pm**

THE DOORBELLLLLLL!

LET THE PARTY BEGINNNNNNNN!

* * *

**Ah, another filler chapter. Shorter than the last, I know, but I want the party to be one chapter on its own (a very LONG chapter!) so, please, please, please bear with me, I promise you utter grooviness in the next chap, if you still lurve me that is :(  
Ps; edward cullen wears save the laugh pj's. hahaha.**


	11. PANTS Warp

**I'm baaaaaaaaaack :)  
Disclaimer: I own the plot, not much else...**

**

* * *

9:05 pm**

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN! THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!

Yesssssssss! The party has begun. I know this, because Sven came in with a lampshade over his head and shouted "The party has begun!"

The boys set there stuff down in a heap near the couches, and joined us girlies for some snacks and snogging.

Dave came and gave me a great snog. He looked soooooo groovtastic! He was wearing a pair of yellow and green plaid flannel pyjama bottoms, and a white t-shirt.

"Hey sex kitty. Those jimjams are FIERCE."

I smiled. "Oh, fanks Dave. Your jimjams are quite sensational." He winked at me. OOoooooooOoOOh how sexy is he?!

**12:47 am**

We just finished watching The Sound of PANTS. Well, we fast forwarded through all the boring bits. I mean, it is a seven zillion hour movie! We acted out the musical scenes. Dave and Sven did a fantastic version of that goat song. It was ace! What was even more ace, was when Rosie, Jools and myself sang "How do you Solve a Problem like Maria?" Everyone clapped, it was marvy.

**2:32 am**

Still awake as a bumblebee. Everyone has cuddled up with their significant other type person. I am on Dave's knee. DAVE STOP READING THIS. STOP IT. DAVE, THIS IS MY FINAL WARNI-

**3:53 am**

Dave ferociously tickled me, and held me captive under the fabric-prison that was a blanket.

"You will never escape, Sex Kitty!" he said.

"Yes, but how will we be able to snog?"

After a moment, he pulled off the blanket. "Point well made" and began snogging me for dear life.

And that's when I heard what sounded like a beluga whale out of water. It was coming from outside my front door. I swear to Buddha, there better not be a beached whale on my front step. I got up to see what all the sound was.

"Jas, Jas, please don't cry. I – I just think it's for the best. I'm so sorry"

OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! Was Hunky breaking up with Po?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And why does Jas sound like a beluga whale when she cries?

**4:42 am**

Tom came inside and got his things, he said he had to be up early for work tomorrow. Grrrrrrr. How dare he break my bestie's heart and leave her in a pile of broken heart soup! Grrrr.

After Tom had gone, I went outside to see Jassy. Her eyes were all puffy and red. Poor girl.

"Tell me everything that happened, little Jazzy."

"T-Tom said he needs sp-space. And that we-we should br-break up" she sputtered between sobs.

"Oh, Jazzy. Do you want my suite at Heartbreak hotel?" I said, trying to light up a rather depressing scenario thinger. But she just cried more.

Oh Boooooo!

**Sunday October 6****th**

**5:23 pm**

Everyone had just gone home. But wowsy wow wow wowster! What a fun night! Aside from Jas' heartbreakosity.

After Jas calmed down a bit, and a got a whiff of fun in her nose, she came back to the party. Everyone was exceptionally nice to her, Dave even offered to run to her house and bring over her owls.

"Oh, no Dave. Don't worry, I have about one-third of my Owls here with me." Which she than proceeded to remove each owl one by one from her rucksack. Sacre bloody bleu.

We than decided it was time for another movie. Rollo put in "The Rock Horror PANTS Show".

Sven, who oddly enough had been relatively normal the entire night (so far) emerged from the loo, in DRAG, just as the song "Sweet Transvestite" came on, in the film. He wore a red corset and knee high stockings and red heels. He began singing, "AM JUST UN SWET TRANVESTITE FRUM TRANSEZUAL TRANZULVANYAH".

Rosie looked so proud.

Rollo and Jools did an excellent version of "Damn it Janet." However, Jools played Brad, and Rollo was Janet.

We than all teamed up and did the Time Warp. Or the "PANTS Warp" as Dave renamed it.

By this time, everyone was getting a bit sleepy so we all got into the large sleeping bag and did cuddles. I let Jas cuddle with me for a bit, before I sent her off to snuggle with her owls.

* * *

**Wow! It's been a while. And I'm still getting reviews. I know I haven't updated in so long, and when I finally do, it's a completely suck-tastic chapter**. **I don't really like writing about my old ideas, which is why this chapter just plain sucks. I wont be updating as quickly as I used to (My second semester courses actually require homework being down!) Plus, I'm working on another story, not for fanfic - just for fun. So anyways, hopefully I'll post again soon :) Thanks for all the great reviews, I owe you guys a great chapter! Just stay tuned! XO Emily**


	12. Arse Down in Choccy Milk

**Guess who is back! That's right! I am girding my loins and bringing you a whole new chapter for ALL YOU NEED IS LUUURVE. I know I have been away in No-Fanfiction-a-go-go-land but here I am, back and better than ever before. I am no longer in jail (school) and I have all the time in the world to write – that is if all you lovely chummies still want me to? I sure hope so because here it is – a whole new (and hopefully fabby) chapter twelve. Strap on your horns and adjust your nungas, girls!**

**Disclaimer: Yadda Yadda Yadda.. I don't own the Marvy world of G. Nicolson. How poo is that?**

* * *

**Monday, October 7th**

**8:30 am**

Lolloping up the hill to Stalag 14 all on my ownsy. My deary best pal to the universe and back is at home with "the painters in" which is just Jazzy code for "I am far to full of heartbreakosity to leave my bed of pain in the sobbing suite of the heartbreak hotel". Well, live and let live is what I have to say. I was nearly a permanent wotsit at the heartbreak hotel. It's character building.

**Assembly**

Hawkeye back on seeing-eye dog duty. I had refrained from doing anything marvy with my beret and did not even bother doing skirt rollsy-upsy. I am much too tired from my weekend of fun and shenanigans.

I said to Rosie "I am much too tired from my weekend of fun."

She said "Yes, well too many cooks spoil the cheese."

WHAT?

**German**

Herr Kamyer has truly outdone himself today in the trouser area. Did you know it is possible to get silk trousers with stars on them? It is.

Rosie put her hand up and Herr Kamyer blinked at her through his glasses and said "Jah, yes Rosie?"

"I am just curious as to where you got your trousers from? My boyfriend Sven is from Lapland and is particularly interested in international fashions."

I would like to think this was a fit of comic genius – sadly I know her and Sven far too well.

**RE**

The Ace Gang and I have begun our beauty regime for the walk home. How dim can Miss Wilson be? She is far too busy stuttering on about something to even see that Jools has pulled down her tights (Oo-er) and is shaving her legs. Honestly!

**5 Minutes Later**

Miss Wilson finally noticed Jools shaving her legs. In fact, she could have remained oblivious if Jools hadn't shouted out "OY BLOODY HELL AND LACKADAY!" when she accidentally cut her leg with the razor.

**4:00 pm**

As we scrambled out the doors of Hades, we noticed the lads were waiting for us by the gates. When they saw us they began shouting "NUNGA NUNGA NUNGA"

Thank God I had my natural makeup applied (about three inches of panstick, lashings of mascara and nearly half a tube of strawberries n crème lippy) coz Dave was waiting front and center with his naughty grin and aura of sexiness and oomph.

**Walking Home**

The whole lot of us are doing arm-linksys. God help whatever soldier walks towards us.

Dave was telling us of some of the days goss at the lads school.

"You should have seen it," He said trotting in front of us. He turned around to face me. "Rollo had spilled his lunch break choco milk on the floor and Phil the nerd came ambling over and slipped and had an absolute, tip top spasm to end all spasms before he landed arse down in the milk. Top comedy points all around"

Ellen, know for her sensibility and caringness (not) was snuggled up to Declan and said "Well, erm.. was he, like Phil.. was he, y'know? Alright? Erm?"

We stared at her.

Rollo, who was being fed a Mars Bar by Jools said (between mouthfuls) "Yeah then we picked him up and put him wet-botty first into the rubbish bin. Excellent."

The lads did that stereo-laughing thing and started laughing and slapping each other. Why?

**20 minutes later**

We all split up, except for Dave and I. He put his arm around me and gave me a proper, full frontal snog. Mmm jelloid knickers extraordinare with a helping of quivery legs syndrome.

"Sex Kitty, it has to be said" Dave said, "You are absolute top in the snogging department."

I tried to seem modest, "Well, fanks Dave. You are quit literally the king of nip libbling"

He took his arm away from me and did a sort of Mick Jagger strut, "They don't call me Dave the biscuit for nothing!" and at that point he began his mad twisting. Why?

**2 minutes later**

I have joined in on the mad twisting and Dave attempted to do a comedy leap into my arms which was not good as 1) I was unprepared and 2) I am not strong. As I have said many, many times to anyone who will listen (No one) that I may have rickets or scurvy or some kind of disease-y type fandango coz my diet mainly consists of oven chips, jammy dodgers and the occasional midget gem (preferably not from Jazzy's secret stash).

Anyways, both Dave and I crashed to the floor quite hard. I have probably once again broken my bumoley. Cheers.

**5:30 pm**

Dave left me at my doorstep with a quick stop to number six, and a pat on my bottom.

"S'laters you cheeky minx" and he walked off whistling the theme from Harry Potter and the Philosophers Pants.

**5:40 pm**

No one is in. Typico. However there is a scrap of paper on the floor (heavily chewed).

_Gee  
We've gone to visit Grandad and Maisie. Will be home late._

_Xoxo Mum_

_Ps Jas rang for you_

Excellent. After a long day of torture the only thing I ask for is a nourishing stew to be waiting for me when I get home. But I suppose that is as likely as me marrying Prince Harry.

**A minute later**

Actually, I think there is a greater chance of me marrying P. Harry. I hear he is red bottomed minx always snogging commoners whilst he is out clubbing. Perhaps I will run into him one day at the Buddha Lounge and he will see that I'm destined for royalty.

**Two minutes later**

Although it might be quite weird moving into Bucky Palace with the Queen seeing as I know her bra size (48 D).

Oh noooooo! I have accidentally thought of the queens nungas as well as accidentally cheated on Dave the Laugh with Harry! Pooooooooo.

**6:00 pm**

Rang Dave.

"Hello, mister Sparkling personality speaking!"

"Ohh Dave I am so sorry!"

"Kittykat? What's wrong, pet?"

"I have accidentally cheated on you with P. Harry in my mind!"

Silence.

"Dave?" I asked.

"Do you mean to say you have accidentally cheated on me. With Prince Harry? As in Prince Harry, Buckingham palace's resident bad boy?" He asked.

"Err… Yes?"

"Phew! I thought I was the only one who had fantasies involving the royal fam!" Dave said, " I quite often dream about me and the Queen having a quick session of number nine, with just a hint of promise of number 10 in the near future."

Boys are mad.

**Two minutes later**

Does he really fantasize about the Queen? Well, I suppose anything can happen in a world of loin girding and being "binned" while you have a soggy botty from choccy milk.

**6:20 pm**

I have accidentally gone over to Jas' only to hear her ramble on about heartbreak.

"We were so – sniffle – good together!" She moaned. "Why does he need – blubber – space?" Her eyes were all swollen and piggy and red. I handed her a tissue and she blew her nose. Erlack!

**Snuggled up in Jas' bed**

She is far too weak and sad to kick me out. Ha! Still, I do feel bad for my little pally even though she was Urma Unhelpful when I was suffering a broken heart. I am a great pal. I hope Baby Jesus is watching me being all selfless and helping the less fortunate (Jas) so that way when I really need something, B.J comes up in trumps.

Jas says she is never leaving her bed again.

"Au contraire, my little hairy pally, this calls for an impromptu extraordinary meeting of the ace gang. Gird your loins and put something sensible on"

**5 minutes later**

I have called the gang. We are all meeting at Luigi's for cappuccinos and plotting. Ostracized veg boy will regret the day he ever broke Jas' legume filled heart.

* * *

**Okay fine, I may be back but not better than before. YET! I am just getting back into the swing of things and my fingers were all huddly duddly from not writing in soooo long! Hopefully this was okay and I hope I have managed to keep a few readers! I'll be back with more chappies and more fun and snogging soon! REMEMBER TO REVIEW SO I KNOW TO KEEP GOING WITH THIS! xooxox em**


	13. Stereo Slurping and Snotty Foreheads

**Disclaimer: Our Queen Louise Rennison owns the fabbity fab world of Georgia. Bow down to her. **

* * *

**Outside Luigi's**

We have started the official meeting off with a quick round of the Viking Bison Disco Inferno (outside of the café… for obvious reasons). Rosie got a little bit carried away and jump into Ellen's arms in the end and they both crashed into a bush.

Oh happy days!

**Luigi's**

We have all ordered cappuccinos so there is stereo slurping. And all around foam moustache syndrome. As I have said many times, I really do hate cappuccinos.

Jas looked down at her coffee and began to tear up "I will never eat or drink again!" she announced.

"Jas" I said soothingly, "that is vair difficult to believe because - forgive me if I'm right - before we left your house you jammed in three strawberry poptarts into your gob followed by a million midget gems."

She sniffled. "Yes, well starting now. I will never eat another morsel of food again."

**Two Minutes Later**

Ellen bought a slice of pie and brought it over to our table for us to do sharesies. Now, I am not naming names but SOMEONE who announced just minutes before that she will NEVER eat again, acted like a little piggy and ate more pie than any of us.

Typico.

**Five Minutes Later**

The meeting has official begun with Jas retelling (with much blubbering) the horrid event that had occurred just days prior.

"Oooh it was terrible – sniffle – he went outside while we were all w-watching the movie and I – cough – followed him. H-he said we needed t-to talk. – sniffle – I thought maybe it would be about the interesting specimen we found in the woods earlier on… It was quite cool actually, like nothing we had ever seen before…"

After a million and seven years of rambling on about some snot they found lurking under an old stump, Jas got to the nub and gist. And to save you from the boringosity that we had to endure I will give you the cheat sheet version vis-à-vis the dumping fandango.

Tom: I'm just beginning to think that we have been together for so long and that we have yet to really experience what's out there.

Jas: Well, what are you saying?

Tom: I just think we need a bit of space apart. I just need to figure some things out about school and you and me.

(At this point Jazzy is crying like billion)

Tom: I am sooo sorry Jas. You know I love you. I just need some time…

And at that point he went back in and collected his things and left!

Rosie, who we all know is madness personified, had her beard on and was ready to dish out her usual wubbish advice. "Perhaps you can become a lesbian prozzy and then Tom will see what he is missing?"

See? I was not wrong.

**A Minute Later**

Ellen suggested (more like dithered) "Well, uhm, maybe you could, uhm… Just like, y'know give him the uhm.. Space? The space that he uhm, wants and then maybe you guys will uhm, get back together? Or something? Erm, I think?"

"Thanks Ellen," I said "Once again you showed full sensibilitosity and top advice providing skills."

"Oh, erm fanks."

**Five Minutes Later**

The short of the short is that Jas is going to give Tom all the space he needs and also show major glaciosity. This way Tom can see what he his missing, without Jas having to become a lezzie prostitute as RoRo so insanely suggested.

Before we called the meeting to a close, Jools passed around the chuddie and we did a stunning round of the Snot Disco Inferno. What larks!

**At Home**

**10:20 pm**

Home all snuggly buggly in bed. Yeah right.

Libby has got all her "fwends" cuddled up to me. And she is sleeping horizontally. Across my stomach.

**Two Minutes Later**

I have accidentally made the mistake of slightly shifting my body. She sat up and biffed me with Scuba-Diving Barbie across the face.

Also, there is a hint of something wet at the bottom of my bed. I think I am far to scared to check. Especially since mutti told me Libs hadn't done a poo all day.

**A Minute Later**

False alarm.

**A Minute Later**

Why in the name of our Lord Sandra's comedy under crackers would Libby open a tube of yogurt in my bed.

Why?

**Tuesday, October 8****th**

**8:00 am**

I have accidentally woken up for another day of "school". I went down stairs for my lovely breakfast prepared by my dear sweet Mutti (not) and noticed there was a message waiting on the answering machine.

**A Minute Later**

Oh my giddygod! What if it's P. Harry ready to take me back to Bucky Palace?

Actually, I highly doubt that…

**Two Minutes Later**

Well it wasn't P. Harry (Mores the pity)

I clicked the play back button and well… See for yourselves.

"Oy Missus! It is the tall and yellow haired man Sven! I will trade you the elderberries for your false eye hairs. If you are wanting to come to my house to do a trading go to 59 17 in the North and 18 3' in the East. It is the green one with the orange door and many, many raining deer in front. Thank you Miss. Where is Rosie by way? I have last seen her cheeky nungas less than ten minutes in the past from now. Minx!"

Wow.

**8:30 am**

Jazzy Spazzy is back in her uniform and has a sniff of glaciosity in her conk. She is ready to eschew he who must not be named (Ostracized veg boy) with a firm hand.

**Five Minutes Later**

Speak of the ostracized lemming! Tom and the gang were ambling off to Foxwood just ahead of me and Jas. Jas immediately turned very red and looked as though she was sucking on a bit of poo. Which she might have been. Who knows? Who cares?

Before the lads could notice us Jas said she left her blodge book at home and had to go get it. She said "S'laters" and ran back.

**A Minute Later**

Caught up to the lads and got a surprise botty pinch from Dave. Cheeky.

"Morning Sex Kitty, you're looking particularly nungalicious today."

I gave him my sternest look.

Tom (otherwise known as the ostracized something or other) looked around and asked where Jas was.

"Well, Tom I don't see why YOU would care but she has gone back home to get her blodge book."

Tom slightly frowned. Oh hells biscuit, if he starts crying I will punch him. "You know I still care for her, Gee." He said and started walking away from the gang into the direction of Jazzy's house.

**At the Gate**

All the lads hopped off to Foxwood (and I mean literally hopped) except Dave who walked me to the front gates.

"Well, bye Dave" I said.

"Have a lovely day at Stalag 14, love. And please, tell Melanie I say hello and if she ever needs some extra support on the nunga front, I'll be pleased to come to her aid." He gave me a quick snog and a pat on the bumoley. "S'laters Kittykat" and he went skipping off singing the classic hit "I get by with a little help from my PANTS"

**Assembly**

I'm feeling a bit peckish and could go for a midget gem. Where is Jas when you need her?

**Blodge**

Ooooh poo! I have detentions after school but it was soooo worth it. Old Octopussy was in the blodge lab just as we were all going in for an hour of pain and odure. She was talking with Ms. Finnigan as though they were great mates. Sooo patheticos.

Anyways, Ms. Finnigan had some jars of what looked like snot (though Jas would beg to differ… Where is old fringy anyways?) on the lab tables. And Wet Lindsay's naff purse was on beside them. So, I nudged Rosie and whispered "Dare me?" and gestured to the snot. She gave me the cross-eyed look of approval.

So, I sneaky, sneaky poured in two jars of snotty into the old weeds bag and her and Ms. Finnigan were faaaar to busy swapping nunga tips or something (coz we all know W.L is lacking on the nunga front and Ms. Finnigan has more than enough to go around) to notice what I had done.

Just as Mabs was about to give me a pack of cheesy wotsits for my super sleuth work, Lindsay reached into her purse (probably to fish out a thong) and screamed.

God knows I tried to hold in my laughter, we all did. But Wet Lindsay's face was absolutely priceless. She pulled out a snot covered hand and stared at it. Mortified.

"Nicolson!" She shouted. She looked as though she was going to start blubbering. Oh happy days.

After a severe ear thrashing from Ms. Finnigan (Lindsay stayed to watch, smiling) Jools had a fit of comic wotsit.

Remember the staring campaign? Well the four of us (not including Ellen… or something) stared at old thongy's (lack of) forehead and she must have forgotten about her snotty hand because she reached up to feel around for a surprise lurker! Result! She had the green snot in her hair and her teensy weensy forehead! Hhahahahahhahaha!

**10 Minutes Later**

We all still have stereo laugh syndrome.

**A Minute Later**

Oooh I bet Dave will give me an excellent snog after I tell him what happened. He would be sooo proud.

**Break**

Still no sign of Jas. Hmmm. Oh well.

We were discussing if anyone had any updates vis-à-vis the snogging scale. Jools said her and Rollo got to number nine, again.

I said, "Forgive me Jools, but pulling down your trousers and showing Rollo your knickers does not count as number nine."

Jools laughed, "Oh Gee-Gee, you are indeed a twit of the first waters. We got to proper number nine this time."

We were all agog like… er… agogs.

"Stephanie Tyler in the year below got pregnant from doing number nine." I said.

"You can't get preggers from doing number nine, Gee." Jools said. What was she? A number nine expert?

"Yeah, well that's what Stephanie Tyler thought, Jools."

Rosie, who looked up from plaiting her fringe said "Wasn't it Sarah Smith who got preggers after number nine?"

"Nope." I said, "She got pregnant after ¼ (kissing hands). True fact."

"That is utter WUBBISH!" Jools said. "You my little pally are as dim as you are busty."

I suppose she is not wrong there.

* * *

**Was that fab or what? I think there were some top comedy moments in this chappy (or at least I thought they were funny!) But anyways, I hope you enjoyed it - and WOW! Did I really just update twice in 24 hours? After over a year of no updates? I truly am Emily the Biscuit! Leave me some luuurve if you liked it! xoxo **


	14. Cheesy Wotsits and his Mutti's Knickers

**Disclaimer: I don't own G. Nicolson or the gang. I don't even own a single one of Slim's chins. **

* * *

**English**

Still no sign of Jas.

Rosie began sending around notes.

_Ladies!  
I have come up with a plan to get rid of Old Snot forehead once and for all.  
If you want to know my mistress plan, send over any chuddie or midget gems you may have on your person.  
Ro-Ro_

I taped a piece of chuddie down to the paper and scribbled,

_Do tell  
xo G_

Rosie has received a days supply of chuddie and midget gems, though she has yet to tell us her mistress plan.

**Two Minutes Later**

_Sorry, I wanted to wait a bit and allow the pot of excitement to stir._

_This is my plan: We somehow get access to one of Lindsay's thongs and we burn it. Carefully, we collect the ashes and put it in a pouch of powdered drink mix. We offer it to Lindsay and VOILA! Old Thongy has unknowingly digested her own thong._

_Am I brill or what?  
Ro-Ro_

Mabs wrote back,

_Clean or dirty thong? I vote dirty._

_Mabsy oxoxox_

This was all making me a bit sick, I replied,

_That is all good and swell but how do we go about getting possession of her thong? I for one will not be touching it. Clean or dirty.  
xo G_

**Detention**

Rosie stole the skeleton ("Fatty" as we call him) from the science block and hid it in the cloak room behind a first formers bag and coat. I think she wet herself. So now Rosie is with me in detention but on the bright side of an otherwise poo situation, Miss Wilson is on detention duty. So, all detention basically is, is an extra hour of makeup adjusting and goss.

"Sven is trying out to be an Olympic runner." Rosie informed me, as I was attempting to keep the orangutan gene at bay by plucking what was verging on the monobrow, which is very popular among the boyfriendless.

"What country will he represent? Because surely Mars does not have their own Olympic team. That is le fact." I told her.

She laughed. Quite scarily.

"And besides, is he even a good runner?" I asked, interested. Whenever he plays footie he is usually on the ground. And he stays there.

"Of course he is. He is part reindeer. Everyone from reindeer land practices running even before they learn to crawl. It is so they do not get crushed by the wild reindeer that terrorize the townfolk. Sven told me."

I was genuinely curious. "How did you understand? He is, as we all know, not entirely sane. Or English."

"He made a picture using cheesing wotsits and his mutti's knickers."

Sacre bleu!

**Cloak Room**

Grabbed our coats and braced ourselves for the Antarctic adventure that is the walk home.

We did arm linking on the way home, but broke apart whenever we caught sight of someone. I do not want the lezzie rumours to spread once more.

**5:30 pm**

When I arrived home I was quite surprised to find my Mutti wearing something somewhat sensible (her jeans looked a bit on the too-tight side) sitting at the kitchen table with Dave the Laugh! What fresh hell?

"Hi Kittykat, I just came round to bring your Mutti a pie." Dave said.

"Yes, it was so lovely of you to stop by Dave. So sweet of you!" She was talking all girly and she had lippy on!

I just looked on like I had just found a butchered horses head in my bed. Which could possibly happen. Libby is quite good at head removing. She will probably grow up to be an executioner. Where was she anyways?

**A Minute Later**

Libby as emerged from under the kitchen table with a drawing. It was her. And Dave the Laugh. Snogging.

Dave looked as happy as a clam, happier even.

"Good work, Libs." He said, picking her up on his knee. "I will put it on my ceiling so I can stare at it at night."

Libby did her mad laughing and Mutti just watched, smiling. Is she not at all worried that her daughter is drawing pictures of her snogging older boys? The boy being MY boyfriend? Of course not. Mutti is probably imagining it was her snogging Dave.

Oooh get out of my head!

**On the Wall Outside**

Dave and I have escaped the Swiss Family Mad. He says he loves my family because we are loveable and crazy and we thrust our nungas proudly. He gave me a package of midget gems.

"I have taken the liberty of eating all of the colours except for the black ones. Because I know you _aime_ them so vair muchos." He said, proudly.

"Aw, fanks Dave!" I fished out a black midget gem and popped it in my mouth.

"So Sex Kitty, I have come to be the bearer of fab news all around! It is October which is Latin for "Thirty-one days of fun and possibly drag". I am planning a Halloween party extraordinaire and you, my little kittykat can come dressed up as whatever you like! Preferably something tight and revealing."

"Ooh, that is grooviness personified I haven't been to a fancy dress party in ages! What are you dressing up as?"

He winked at me. Cheeky! "That is for me to know, and you to find out!"

**In Bed**

**9:00 pm**

I am vair excited about this Halloweeny party! What should I be? Something with maturiosity, sexiness and a hint of comedy? Yes that sounds about right.

**A Minute Later**

I can tell you what I will NOT being dressing up as. A stuffed olive. That is le fact.

**Two Minutes Later**

The stuffed olive incident was ages ago! Way before Dave, the Sex God and the Luuurve God. It was even before the Mark (aka mouth on legs) and Peter Dyer (Whelk boy) fandango. I was just a mere child then. Now I am a full, mature and sophisticated woman.

I didn't even wear a bra then! How weird!

**9:30 pm**

Mutti came in to "chat". She sat down on my bed all smiley smiley. What?

"Soooo," she said, still smiling, "Dave is quite fit, isn't he? Are your proper boyfriend and girlfriend now? Libby luuurves him, I think she thinks they are boyfriend and girlfriend" She then began laughing like a hyena on laughing gas.

**11:00 pm**

After about a million years of torture, she finally left.

I am soooo vair excited for the Halloween party! I wonder what Jazzy will be? Perhaps an owl? Wouldn't that be a hoot? Aahaha! Get it?

Speaking of Jas – I forgot to give her a ring. Perhaps she has suffocated under a pair of her voluminous knickers? Too bad. I suppose I could give her a call now, but she will be all "Georgia, do you know what time it is?" Like a human clock. Only more fringy. I will see her in the morn and we can discuss party costumes and now I am far too excited to go to slee…zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Wednesday, October 9****th**

**In bed  
7:00 am**

Woke up to Angus digging his claws into my kneecap. Why? He seems to have recovered quite nicely and his possibly more mad than ever before.

**Kitchen**

Vati nearly pooed himself when he saw I was awake so early. Honestly, he acts as though all I ever do is sleep. All he ever does is lay on the couch eating sausages and popsicles, but you don't see me throwing a celebration every time he gets up.

**7:25 am**

Back in my bedroom, practically ready for school. Maybe I should pop over to Jas'? Her Mutti is bound to have a proper breakfast prepared, unlike my Mutti who was in her knickers and bra eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. I must remember never to eat peanut butter again.

**Jas' Bedroom**

Her Mutti let me in, but little Jazzy is still asleep. She is snuggled up amongst her owly friends.

"Jas…" I whispered. No response.

"JAS!"

She was quite startled and rolled right off the bed! Hahah!

**Walking to Stalag 14**

Jas was walking ahead of me because of the rolling off the bed incident. It's not my fault that she got sooo scared.

I've managed to catch up with her and link arms.

"I'm sorry Jas! I was just sooo excited to see you because you never came to school yesterday and I just missed my best mate sooo much!"

"You didn't even call me to make sure I was alright." She said.

"Yes, well I had detention then Dave the Laugh came round and gave me some really fab news… Do you want to know what the fab news is?"

She ignored me and went on talking about HERSELF. Old, selfish fringy. "Tom came round yesterday morn, after I had gone home. I wouldn't let him in, so he posted this through my door." She rummaged through her rucksack and pulled out an envelope. "I haven't even read it yet. I was hoping you would have come round after school and read it for me, but noooo you had other plans."

"Oh, Jazzy I'm sorry! I can read it now for you if you like." I was quite interested in what Hunky erm… I mean the ostracized veg boy had to say for himself. She handed it over and I slowly opened the envelope – for dramatic effect.

**French**

The short of the short is Tom is vair sorry and he feels terrible that Jas is hurt and he can't stop thinking about her and that he doesn't want space if Jas isn't there to fill the emptiness. What? Can't anyone stay broken up for more than four days? I have gone months without a boyfriend, I personally think it is personality building.

Jas is all smiley and happy and she even put on a bit of lippy in class. CRIKEY!

**Break**

Jas read aloud the letter Tom had written her and everyone was "awww-ing" and "oooh-ing". She was in such a good mood she even let me have any flavour midget gem I wanted.

**German**

Last class of the day before Rom and Jul practise. Joy unbound. All I can say is good thing Tom and Jas have made up or else Tom could have quite literally been a goner as we are going through the death scene today and Jas gets to hold a dagger.

Herr Kamyer is dithering about. Rosie keeps asking him questions about the German snogging scale and he just blinks and turns very red.

I told the others about Dave's Halloween shindig and they all got a whiff of fun in their nostrils.

"I better start making mine and Sven's costumes" Rosie said. I don't know much, but I can tell you this for free, the costumes will definitely include fur. And lots of it.

**Rom and Jul **

I was not wrong. Rosie has gone backstage and taken plenty of the fake fur from the props bin. She is hiding it all in her pants. I'll have to remember not to touch Rosie or Sven the night of the party. Erlack!

**Ten Minutes Later**

The boys arrived! Wooo! Dave, as usual was front and centre. His tie was tied around his head. Quite sexy, actually. He did his comedy slow motion running towards me and gave me a little kiss on the cheek.

"Hello sensation seekers, the Vati is here. Sound the bells of England and let the havoc commence!"

**4:30 pm**

After Dave the Laugh climbed up the curtain ropes and sat on the bar of spotlights above us, Miss Wilson called it a day.

**Park**

Even though it is quite nippy noodles we have gone to the park for Halloween party planning discussions.

"Well, I am thinking it will be on Halloween and we can all dress up for snacks, dancing and of course heavy snogging." Dave said.

Sven was very excitamondo. "Well this sounds like a holler and a half of a hoot I have many supplies such as candy, vin and everything else we need for a hooha from my homeland so that will be gud. I am loving the party scene! Who will Rosie and I be?"

"Have no fear, big boy!" Rosie said, pulling the fake fur from her skirt. "I have everything under control."

Sven licked his lips at her and chased her into the wood. That's the last time we'll be seeing them today.

Ellen who was walking and holding Declan's hand (she had to do slightly bendy legs as she is quite a bit taller than him) said "Well, erm… I think, well, maybe… I don't know yet, but I uhm, think that I will dress like, uhm, you know… A bear."

We all just stared at her.

* * *

**Oooh October is my fav month and I'm going to have some fun in the next few chapters! Now, we all know Ellen is going to a bear for Halloween, but what should everyone else be? Tell me your ideas and I just may use them for my fic! Remember, the weirder - the better! xo em**


	15. Papaya in your Knickers

**Disclaimer: The fanfic is mine, but the characters and whole shebang belong to L. Rennison.**

* * *

**6:00 pm**

Home just in time for a lovely supper of erm… nothing. However, Vati gave me the famous "You treat this house like a bloody hotel…" speech, which was first given back in the days of ancient Rome. Or something.

**5 Minutes Later**

Poking about in the fridge for something to eat. Ah, yes there are quite a few things I could sink my teeth into.

However, I am not a fan of mouldy cheese and butter with cat hair in it.

**A Minute Later**

Tucked in to my lovely din-din of jammy dodgers and coke. How nutritious. Not. I will probably wake up tomorrow morning with my hair all fallen out, and my skin sagging off from my lack of nutrients.

Mutti will probably have a field day. She would be sooo happy coz we would have to pop in (Oo-er) to see Doctor Clooney.

**Phone Ringing**

I yelled out "PHONE!"

Mutti called back "Can you answer it, Gee? Libby got into the strawberry jelly." I don't even want to know.

"Jelly headquarters, Georgia speaking!"

It was Sven.

"Oy, Jelly baby! Have you be holding a papaya in the knickers? Oh yeah, baby! Keep grooving! Ya, chicks!" Then he slammed the phone down.

I'll tell you one thing for free, the thought of a papaya in my knickers does seem like something that could occur in my house.

**A Minute Later**

I did once wake up and find a few apple slices down my jim jams. That was the last time Mutti let Libs take fruit slices to bed.

**Thursday, October 10****th**

**Assembly**

Slim is rambling on and on about how it is a "privilege not a right" to be working with the Foxwood lads on Rom and Jul and how we should take the play more seriously have we have our schools "reputation" to uphold.

Reputation, my arse! If there is anything Stalag 14 has a reputation for it is lesbian teachers, uncontrollable bobs and mad, old Elvis. And by the way rehearsals have been going, I don't think the play is going to give Slim the "reputation" she so vair much wants.

Speaking of reputation, Nauseating P. Green (who has the reputation of being the most boring person on the planet) has got a quite interestingly interesting haircut. Interesting if you like a frog with a bob.

The gang and I were doing are usual passing around of chuddie and not paying attention to Slims jelloid chin syndrome or listening to what she was raving on about when we heard some startling news.

"I am pleased to announce that as a treat for those of you who are participating in the production of Romeo and Juliet Miss Wilson and Herr Kamyer have offered to take you all to Verona, Italy for a week after the play has finished. How exciting is that? I wish I could come along, as well!"

Gadzooks!

**English**

Miss Wilson is sooo excited for Italy. Her bob nearly bobbled off and walked away.

"Verona is so lovely," she said. "It is, as you know where Romeo and Juliet takes place. So historical and romantic! To those of you have never been to Italy, it is molto, molto bellisima!" And she began to sigh, possibly thinking of her and Herr Kamyer kissing under the leaning tower of Pisa. Is that even in Verona? Do I care?

The gang are all vair excited for Stalag 14 on tour.

"Remember when we went to gay Paree and we got the comedy berets? Perhaps we can come back from Pizza-a-go-go Land with comedy gondolier hats?" Rosie suggested.

"Erm, oh, well, what is like, what is a _gondolier_?" Ellen dithered.

"Keep up, Ellen." I said, "Gondoliers are those blokes in stripy shirts that sing and paddle the gondolas in Italy."

"Venice is known for its gondolas. Not Verona." said Jas, the world renowned Gondola expert.

Rosie put her hand up. You could tell Miss Wilson really wanted to ignorez vous her, but she couldn't.

"Yes, Rosemary?"

"Well, Miss I was wondering if perhaps while we are in Pizza-a-go-go Land your boyfriend the Swan of Avon, Billy will be meeting us? I would quite like to get an introduction, if that is alright?" I do not know how she manages to keep a straight face,

Miss Wilson smoothed out her bob and breathed in deeply. She has once again pulled out all the stops fashionwise today. She has on a plum purple, velour jumpsuit with red felt booties. "Well, erm, Rosemary as I have told you before, I do not know William Shakespeare and uhm, Julia will you please take that beard off."

**Break**

We all have a whiff of pizza and vino tinto in our nostrils. We even have been kissing each others cheeks and saying "_Ciao, Bella!_"

Though, I must say all of this Pizza-a-go-go Land talk is making Masimo pop up (Oo-er) in my head. Perhaps if I see him while I am in Italy I will say "Ciao" and perhaps give him a matey-mate type hug. I think.

**Maths**

Maths is absolute poo. I am not going to become a mathematician when I grow up so what is le point? Jools started note sending

_I wonder if the love birds Herr Kamyer and Miss Wilson will re-enact Rom and Julz famous balcony scene "Romeo, Romeo where for art thou pants?"when we get to Verona.  
__Jools  
__Ps. HHHHOOOOOORRRRRRNNNNNNN_

_One can only hope so.  
__G xo_

Jas replied and tossed the note back to me.

_There is an actual place in Verona called "Juliet's Balcony" which, of course is a balcony much like Shakespeare described. People from all over the world travel their and leave love notes. I do hope we go there so I could write a love letter to Tom. Maybe I will even post his poem "You are my only fish in the sea". I'm sure the Italian type people will enjoy it. They know their romance.  
__Jas_

**A Minute Later**

_Jas, all I needed was a one word reply. Not a bloody essay. Lurve you though.  
__Jools_

**4:00 pm**

We were all ready to amble off home, and were just about to apply our "natural" makeup when Slim announced an impromptu Rom and Jul meeting. Sacre blue, are we never to be free?

**Auditorium**

Waheey! The Foxwood lads came barging in the doors. They were all slapping each others bottoms and shouting wubbish like "Oooh Son!" Boys are mental.

**Two Minutes Later**

Slim made the lads sit on the other side of the auditorium. Her chins were shaking like billio.

"Settle down, settle down" She said, "Now this is a very special occasion…" I was about to shout out "You're telling me!" Normally Stalag 14 is a lad-free zone. There were probably about a million girls waiting outside the doors hoping to catch a glimpse of them. "As my girls already know," Slim carried on "After the final production of Romeo and Juliet, they will be taken on a trip to Verona. Now, Mister Fields the headmaster of Foxwood has decided to allow the boys who have taken part in the production to go along as well…"

The whole auditorium erupted in cheers. I could hear Dave the Laugh shouting out "Mister Fields, you da Vati!"

After about a million hours of Slim telling us we have the weight of the world on our knees or whatever she gave us a permission package to take home and have our parents sign.

Oooh I am soooo excited! It's going to be sooo marvy having the lads with us! I have never done international romancing!

**A Minute Later**

Unless of course you count Jas and I taking nuddy-pants photos in Hamburger-a-go-go Land. Which is not at all romanticosity. Just friendosity.

**10 Seconds Later**

And I don't think Jock McThick molesting my basooma in Och Aye Land counts either.

**5 Seconds Later**

Nor does that crap mime in Paris who pretended to be juggling my nungas. I hope Italian type people are not as mad and pervy as Froggy people. Or Och Aye Land folk.

**At Home**

**5:45 pm**

Dave gave me a piggyback ride all the way home. He said he could not wait to snog my face off inside the Coliseum. Jas had to spoil the romance of it all by saying that the Coliseum is in Rome which is no where near Verona. Typico.

When we got to my front gate, I got off of Dave's back and he gave me a number six snog (yummy scrumboes) "Have you decided what you're dressing as for my party? Perhaps a prostitute? Or maybe an Ork?"

"No, no and thrice no." I told him. I do not understand why boys are sooo obsessed with Orks and ogres and things like that. "What are you being?"

He pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key. "Ni nannon nay!"

"Pardon?"

He ran off and pretended to pick up the key he tossed on the floor and pretended to unzip his lips. "I cannot say. However, I must go buy red body paint. S'laters Kittykat." He gave me a light kiss on the lips and walked away.

* * *

**Well, there you are! Another chapter has come and gone! Please favourite, subscribe and review, please! I shall not post anymore fabby-ness until I get atleast 81 reviews! Thats just two more than I already have! So get on that! xo Em**


End file.
